After last week's edition (the Pulitzer award winning "Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph") we asked our readers to share stories about moments when victory evaded their grasp. You guys did not disappoint with your disappointments and we're going to share some of the best ones. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail


Pwn Up: Lose Yourself


This summer me and my sister were staying at my cousin's for the night since we both had a lot of free time on our hands. Me and my cousin ended up playing endless hours of Pokemon Emerald and ranting about it the whole day while my bored sibling just watched us since she wasn't into Pokemon.

Sometime after midnight we turned my cousin's room into a battle arena while role playing as our favorite Pocket Monsters; I was Pikachu and she was Lillipup. So basically imagine the two of us screaming random Pokemon moves accompanying it with singing the battle theme song in our pajamas ,running around the room like maniacs. The worst part was we were both pant-less. We had a blast goofing around with each other performing every single move available, but the horrifying truth was that we were completely unaware my sister was sitting in a corner and filming the entire process.

Months passed and we forgot about that until a few weeks ago my sibling did the most embarrassing thing to me after an argument we had; I witnessed her show the video (which my soul was completely unaware of) to the entire household because she wanted to get back to me! I ran to my room feeling heavily defeated when I heard the family blast in a laugh while she showed it to my parents . Now I also know if I ever dare make her too angry or do something similar again, she'll hunt me down by putting the video on the internet. 



Pwn Up: Lose Yourself  

So I'm a newer generation gamer, I built a PC with pretty dank specs and I picked up Arma because it can be really fun (when you're not getting blown to bits/starving to death/getting barked at by a 13 year old self promoted General). One day, I'm in this battle with a bunch of randoms who appear to all be in some kind of clan and we're doing pretty damn well. Playing it smart, slow and real tactical like. Then I get handed the stick of this chopper and get ordered back to base with one of the clan dudes to help them bug out. I generally was avoiding choppers since every time I'd flown so far, I'd crashed. Regardless I'm full of bravado at a decent match so I make no objections and I take off, methodically I come in for a landing annnnnnnd 


I  had sat on the edge of my seat so damn hard that I tipped the whole chair forward, bashing my chin into my desk. On the floor, I can hear guys are shouting through my headset, cursing my name as I stand up  and dare a glance at the screen.


The choppers on fire. Four of our guys got squished to five are the floor below taking fire and the rest are injured (some to the point of mere seconds from death). The match ends a few desperate minutes later followed by a volley of sarcastic gg's.


-Michael P.




Pwn Up: Lose Yourself



My cousins and I lived in the same apartment building when we were kids. One of our favorite games to play was Sonic Adventure 2, and the Chao Garden became an obsession with me. I dedicated unreasonable amounts of time towards taking them to school, feeding them, hugging them, giving them the proper gems, all of that. Eventually I was able to evolve them into their character-themed forms, such as a Sonic and Shadow chao. I was especially proud of that because I didn't use a guide, it was all heart. They were my pride and joy, those two....
One day, I was leaving their place to go to church with my folks, and my youngest cousin, he was 9 I believe, asked if he could play in my file while I was gone. I knew what he meant, he had recently developed an unsettling obsession with messing with chao, throwing them and jumping on them. I couldn't take away the memory card because then they couldn't play any of their other games, and SA2 was their game so I couldn't take that. So I had explicitly warned him NOT to go into my chao garden, going so far as to create another save file for him to abuse the chao in a different garden. When I returned to my save file a few days later, my chao were acting differently. Sad noises, constantly shivering. It didn't take long for them to all start dying....slowly. No matter what I did they eventually receded into an egg and faded away. After constant hugs, feedings, resetting the system, I accepted the inevitable. I watched them slowly die in front of me, even bringing the other chao with me so they could say goodbye to Soni-chao and Shado-chao.
My cousin fessed up and received his holy judgment. I would occasionally still play SA2 for it's multiplayer races, but I never entered the garden again. People tell me their were ways to save them or I should've made more, but I didn't have the energy, or the heart. They'd want me to move on. And I did.





Pwn Up: Lose Yourself


When Pokemon had just came out I was only in grade 2 and my parents didn't have alot of money. It took a lot of waiting before I got a pack of pokemon cards but in my very first pack ever was a 1st edition holographic Charizard card. I wasn't well liked at the time but a kid came to talk to me when he saw I got cards. I was ecstatic. We began talking and I showed him my brand spanking new Charizard. He began talking about the rarities of the cards, unfortunately I didn't know anything about them yet so when he told me how much better a card diglett was. I was hesitant to believe him but I really wanted a friend so I reluctantly agreed to the trade. He then traded the charizard to the rich kid in the class for 40 rares and never talked to me again. 

To this day I still considered this the biggest regret in my life and would trade my legs for a chance to kick that guy right in the deku nuts and get another Charizard card to right the wrong!

-Michael C.



Pwn Up: Lose Yourself

During my second year of university, I reacquainted myself with my old PS2 and a copy of Shadow of the Colossus.

I dedicated a day for myself to finish the game, spending almost an hour defeating a particularly difficult colossus. Just as the beast finally fell and I leapt cheering from my seat, my phone rang across the room. In my haste to answer it, I tripped on the controller wire and pulled the entire console out of the wall, instantly losing all my progress.

It's been years since then, but to this day I remain so annoyed at myself that I have refused to play the game since.




I believe it was Aristotle who once said "even the losers get lucky sometimes". These were some great stories, but one of the recurring themes this time around was about siblings and cousins. Next week, let's hear your stories about your families. Was one of your cousins married at a Klingon wedding? Did your folks ever sell your PS2 on craigslist? Have you ever bonded with your siblings over some Quake III? It shall be called Pwn Up: Family Game Night


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