It's not enough for you to be a Rollercoaster Tycoon - you want to be a Rollercoaster Artist. You want to make brilliant rides that provide all of the thrills and daring design elements that you find lacking in real life rollercoasters. Who cares if literally every guest says that your rollercoasters look too intense for them? The cowards at Six Flags have nothing on your latest vomit-inducing masterpiece.
I know what you're thinking - an unfinished rollercoaster? Yikes! Well, fear not - the coaster will shoot you up right to the tippy-top, and then you'll come roaring back, like an on-rails pendulum! Should be quite the thrill....unless a certain tycoon were to "accidentally" increase the launch speed to 90mph, that is. Oops! What an unfortunate accident. Oh well, anyone else want to try out "The George R.R. Martin Coaster"?
No need for "rollered-coasters" or any of those other complicated, expensive types of rides here - nothing but pre-built attractions, hedge mazes, and paddle boats for this park! Imagine how much we'll save on vomit cleanup alone! And with that money, we can add in some things that'll REALLY bring the customers in: some badass gardens and HELLA benches.