This week on Pwn Up, we look at your greatest nerdy victories. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
When my brother was twelve, I was seven. For my seventh b-day, my uncle gave me a PS2 and a copy of FFX.
As in all the families, my brother played and I watched. He beat the game several times - but he never did three things: Complete a Blitzball League, beat any of the dark eons, and pass 9999 of damage, which he accomplished only with Auron.
This year I was in England for two and a half months with some of my parents' friends.
Their son had a PS2 with a FFX. I resisted only 2 days - then I passed literally 4 days gathering the astral weapons and the emblems.
Then, dead Zanarkand, something between 2 am and 8 pm of July,18.
Auron, Tidus and Yuna.
Yojimbo>Give him 1 gil because cannon-meat for Dark Bahamut's turbo
Immediately dialed my brother's number.
"Marco, how are you doing?"
"I killed that asshole."
We both cried and laughed until my host family made me hang up
When I was a kid, about 5 or 6, I was in junior self defense and karate classes. Now I was known for being overly aggressive with the other kids so when my bout came around to see if I graduated from the junior level I was made to take my exam against my sensei. Well, I had just seen the first Mortal Kombat movie around that time, and when I found myself unable to really do anything against my sensei, I pulled a Johnny Cage and dropped him like Goro (talkin' ball punch here). I advanced to the next level.
Final Fantasy 7 came out when I was in high school and it was a game my group of friends were all playing at the time. Among the many insane challenges, defeating the Emerald and Ruby weapon were the toughest. I had dumped countless hours into the grind and had failed at least a dozen times in my attempts to down the two Weapons - when one day after school, I finally did it. After what seemed like (and very well could have been) a 20 minute battle with the giant green pain the ass, I was victorious. My utter shock was even more overwhelming than my excitement, I had done it. I leapt into the air and began to shout when I damn near shit my pants at someone frantically banging on the large family room window behind me. There stood two of my neighborhood friends, who were outside shouting in excitement having just watched me defeat Emerald. After coming in and congratulating me, they admitted that they had come by to hang out but after seeing me in the middle of the fight, decided to watch from outside and laugh at me when I lost. Instead they watched as I became the first one of us to defeat Emerald Weapon. I also went on in the next few weeks to be the first to defeat Ruby as well.
So my buddy and I were playing GTA IV one night, waiting for another friend to get online. We did the basics like racing cars, murdering cops, and doing sweet stunt jumps. Out of no where my buddy starts chasing me and trying to kill me, probably because I murdered him two minutes earlier. We started out on Alderny (The Island to the far left) and ended up at The Triangle in Algonquin (The middle island). At this point both of our cars have been destroyed, and I have no ammo. I'm running though alleyways, and he is right behind me, hunting me with no mercy. I get shot a few times, leaving me with almost no health. I run out onto the streets and stop moving, realize that there is no point because I'm dead for sure. I turn around to see him walk up to me with his AK47 aimed at my head. Right as he is about to pull the trigger, a bus comes in and runs him over right in front of me, killing him.
My sophomore year of college I came home for Christmas break and decided to play some MW2. At this time the game had been out for awhile and the next Call of Duty game had already come out. I hadn't played the game online for over a year because my college had Xbox Live blocked on campus. At one point I had actually been pretty good at MW2 and I forgot to change my kill streaks to adjust for my atrophied skills, so I got into a ground war domination match on Wasteland with a nuke set. Even when I was good the nuke was wishful thinking. I had only ever gotten one once and it was long ago. So the match starts and I head to B to provide cover fire. Somehow I am just mowing down MCs like I'm mowing the lawn. I only missed like once and I had to reload but I got harriers. So I call them in and quickly got an AC-130. Then I ran off to a little corner of the map and laid down in some high grass to operate my gunship. I'm dropping bombs on the other team but I notice that some of them seem to be looking for something. Then I realized that they were hunting me because they knew I was close to a nuke. I was just barely able to wipe out 3 people right before they found me and that was enough for the nuke. As soon as my AC-130 was over I immediately called it in and the game was over. I got about 40 kills and 1 death in under 2 minutes. Then I immediately left that game lobby and stopped playing because I knew I would never be able to top that performance. I got 2 invites from kids in that game to join their clans, but I had to politely decline. I have never played MW2 since.
- Sir Hotbod Handsomeface
It was my first San Diego Comic Con in 2012. It had been an absolutely mind-blowing experience. The main thing I had gone to Comic Con for was to see the big panels. To see some of my favourite actors up close and hear their thoughts on the shows and films. This meant queues. Lots of queues.
On Sunday was one of my favorite shows, Supernatural. So we started queuing at 4am for Hall H. Even at this ungodly hour the queue stretched back all the way to the marina. We put our backs to the fence and tried to get some sleep.
At about half 6 we woke and started chatting to the people around us, it was then when one someone said that they had just seen the "angel guy" from Supernatural run past out on a morning jog. I quickly looked around but Misha Collins was already putting a lot of distance away from where we were.
Do I risk humiliation by being a crazy fanboy and running after him or lose out on one of those unique moments that I would regret for years to come. I thought, to hell with it, if you can't be a crazed fan at comic con where can you be. So I made chase. The guy had a good head start but I was fit and had adrenaline in my veins.
I caught up and started running next to him, he seemed a little shocked at first but listened to my praise of his character and the show itself and when I asked for a photo he was happy to oblige...but he wasn't going to stop running. He was also still going at a fair pace. Phone in hand with the front camera so i could see what I was doing, i got ready. I was only gonna get one shot at this and I nailed it. With some gracious thanks to him I veered off and made my way back to the queue where i was greeted with cheers and applause from my new found queue buddies.
Let's not forget: you're all winners in our book. Except the losers. Losers, you guys are losers, which is sort of like winning, except the opposite. Next week, let's talk about moments of utter defeat and heartbreaking loss. Came real close to beating a hard Guitar Hero song, only to have your little brother unplug your guitar-controller? Almost win all the Pokemon battles against the Elite Four with nothing but Bidoofs? Let's call it Pwn Up: Lose Yourself
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