Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

Gone Home has been the subject of much debate over the past few months - many arguing that it isn't a game at all, that it's too short, etc. So we decided to sit down and play it - here are the three main criticisms we had about this game:

 

1. Not Enough Gun Variety!
 
2. Spent Like An Hour Searching For Mana Restoration Potions!
 
3. Not Enough Enemies!

 

Should you buy Gone Home? Personally, I would advise you to wait for a map pack DLC to be released - right now, there's only a single small map included, and there was no one else on the server. Very frustrating. A glitch in my game also removed all the guns and samurai swords apparently, so I was basically defenseless. Out of boredom, I just kinda wandered around and picked through whatever letters and cassettes I could find lying around while looking for mana restoration potions so I could cast lightning spells (had difficulty finding the magicka menu, still haven't located it actually).

  Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

That's where the game got slightly more interesting (note: I mean "slightly more than the zero amount of interesting it had been up to that point," so take this with a grain of salt) - there are voiceovers from your sister throughout the game that build and build and slowly hint at the fact that THERE IS A DEMON GHOST IN THE HOUSE. And I was like HELL YEAH and started searching for a Hellblade with which to defeat the demon ghost (there was also stuff about teen angst and falling in love and blah blah blah boooring).

   Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

But then it turns out the ghost is a *metaphor*. Talk about anticlimactic! Gone Home? This game should go somewhere, but not home! It should go to the garbage dump! Gone Garbage Dump should be the title!

 

Summary:

 

Cool Guns: 0/10
Sweet As Hell Combos With Samurai Swords: 0/10
Sex/Nudity: 1/10 (and that is being EXTREMELY generous)
Badass Magic Spells That Summon Dragons: 0/10
Where Are The Guns? It's Not a Game If There Are No Guns!: 0/10


Overall Score:

A Goddamn Masterpiece of Economic Storytelling, Subverted Expectations, and Game Design That Will Enthrall You Throughout Its Duration