Last week on Pwn Up we asked for your geeky stories about parties gone wrong. Boy howdy did you folks bring your "A" game to this one. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
I was at this kick-ass surprise birthday party for a friend in highschool. The Birthday Boy came home only to discover that his house had become a giant game of hide-and-seek and he had to find everyone, including his long-distance girlfriend who had planned the whole thing. The house was huge and all 15-20 of us were completely concealed. I was hiding in his closet. It was not a bad spot, a little more safe than a parent's bedroom or something. Well the game dragged on, and after Birthday Boy found his girlfriend they snuck upstairs to his bedroom and started getting frisky with each other. At that moment I was terrified. I was standing in a closet with little slats in the door and I could see everything. It was a catch-22. I didn't want to spoil the moment for them but I sure as hell didn't want to watch it (or worst of all, get caught). At this point they were getting heavy and the moment for me to pop out without incident had definitely passed. That's when I remembered I had my nintendo DSi with Pokemon Heart Gold in it. I turned it on (thanking God it was muted) and played through the Elite Four. I was still playing when they left, and I slid out into a new hiding spot behind a plant where I knew I would be found. The party continued, but now I knew that I had given them the best present ever, Secrecy.
[For future reference, we here at Dorkly would like to take a moment to urge all of our readers who find themselves in a similar situation to respect the privacy of others, even if you have Pokemon to keep you distracted. Yes, it's always going to be awkward, but to ease the tension, you could shout something goofy as you reveal yourself like "You just activated my BONER card!" and then run away as fast as you can and assume a new identity in a different state. -Ed.]
T'was at one of our first LAN-Parties, when Counterstrike was the sickest game the kids could steal from their older brothers. We held the LAN in the cellar of one of our friends, and after countless hours of Dawn of War, Rise of Nations and other games, some of the attendees slowly began to fall asleep. One of us took the opportunity and placed chocolate marshmallows next to them. It took quite a while until the victims rolled onto them, and shortly afterwards the one who placed them was chased around the tables and computers (which the people were most concerned about) and a few blows were exchanged... that's when he suggested
"Hey, everything's fun and all, but while we're here and awake from adrenaline let's go play Counterstrike ." *g*
Hi! I have a submission for Pwn up! I'm not sure it counts, since the next Pwn up is gonna be about partying and this one is only vaguely party related, but here goes.
Every year my school has a Halloween dance, and since I like making Halloween costumes I brought my homemade one. It was a Raiju costume, (The underwater kaiju with a fake head in Pacific Rim) and nobody knew who I was, even the people who saw Pacific Rim. I died a little inside whenever I walked around and people said, "Cool! ...What is it?"
Next year I'm going as Ultraman and I hope to Godzilla that someone knows who I am.
[Alright, hold up. I have to interject here. I'm a big a fan of Pacific Rim but I had to go wiki-trawling to remember which one of the monsters in the movie was "Raiju". You even picked the one with the least descriptive name! So, after some searching it turns out THIS is the monster you dressed up as:
Sweet merciful Zordon, are you kidding me? You dressed up as that!? Mr. Shnurbinator if you are reading this. SEND PHOTOS NOW. Because I have no idea how you can pull this off without an alligator carcass and 80 pounds of sculpey. If your costume was even HALF this badass, I will personally pay you to appear at my next birthday and fight Brooklyn Typhoon until one man falls. Send all inquiries to email@example.com. Ok sorry, back to your stories. -Ed.]
When I was 6 I went to the School's Halloween Disco and went as a Cyberman and nobody knew what on Earth I was (Doctor who hadn't resurfaced yet and I only went as one because my brother and I watched the older episodes together.) I was completely annoyed at this and when the series came back around, I was 11 so it would be my last Halloween party at the school. I decided to go out with a bang.
My Mum and I worked for three days straight and built a TARDIS costume that completely covered me. It had a working siren and everything. Safe to say I won the costume parade at the end. (Sorry for not having a photo but it looked something like the attached picture.)
My Art skills are amazing.
Wow. That was a rollercoaster of emotions. I mean, specifically it was more of a "shame spiral" but the analogy still stands. Next week, let's talk about moments of triumph and victory. It's time to stand proud and talk about the Tae-Kwon-Do tournaments, the game jams, and matheletic accolades. Heck, you can even send in photos of your "participation" trohies from little league. Let's call it Pwn Up: FTW.
Send all your stories to firstname.lastname@example.org