We did a lot of things in 2013 - maybe you've seen the top 30 comics (#30 - #21 / #20 - #11 / #10 - #1) or the top 20 articles (#20 - #11 / #10 - #1)? But there were a lot of things we did that didn't reach a huge amount of popularity, and so we thought we'd list them out here and give some insight into them. These are our 2013 staff picks!
I had the idea for this and a rough draft sitting in my Google Docs for about a year before coming to a point where I, uh, just needed another article to fill out the week's schedule, so I buckled down and completed it - with a bunch of weird jokes about period-appropriate screennames involving Paul Hogan and Who Framed Roger Rabbit? fans. I also had an idea to do a Legend of Zelda-esque 'Official Timeline' for Mario' that I shoehorned into this.
Comic: ZeldaShock Infinite
Warning: Bioshock Infinite spoilers (sorta)
I really liked Bioshock Infinite's bonkers weird ending and wanted to do something on it, but didn't think there was a good way to hit it directly. So I had the weird idea to use the theme of "events repeating themselves" that also applies to Zelda and mash the two together. I love the way it turned out (and Julia Lepetit's art is soooooooo pretty here). Also: I was real close to cutting the Zora Tunic ending, but Julia convinced me to keep it. I'm glad she did.
Of course two games that I keep close to my heart for different reasons being combined into a single comic would make it on this list for me. I grew up on Zelda games, watching it grow as I did (let's ignore that Tingle had his own game. We all have our bad times), it got to a point where Zelda games was like that childhood item you still have even though you feel a little silly still carrying it around with you. Then there's Bioshock Infinite; a game where at the end I sat in my chair wanting to turn to someone and just have them reassemble my now blown mind (instead I went to bed or else I would have fried my brain). A meeting of my comfort game and the game that I could not handle the ending of, was very, very fun to me.
I also had a blast making the art for this.
I wrote this the second the season started, because I knew this was coming and was pretty sure I knew how folks would react. And I think I was mostly right! Although, to be fair, it's pretty likely George RR Martin was actually blogging about the Jets on his LiveJournal at the time.
Comic: Xbox Live Ultimatum
I've been in this situation more times than I care to remember (though obviously not every time). In the past, this is how it went down: I get trash talked, I sigh, I hit mute, I move on, then proceeded to imagine how it would have played out if I were either gutsier or cared enough.
While I didn't write this, I still got to combine a few of my favorite things as well; gaming, Alfred Hitchcock, and moments of comical insanity.
This started out as a mix of Fringe fanfic and Literally Everyone's Experience With Mario Party Ever. I like the weird weird way it turned out.
Comic: Grand Theft Annoyance
Poor Roman. The guy takes you in, gives you a job (kind of), shows you the ropes, and all he asks is that you bowl with him.
Every second of your life.
I think every one has had a moment in GTA IV where they've been rolling off the highway (probably missing all of its tires, no more car hood, several doors missing, and your car so covered in blood that you can't remember if it was red to begin with) being chased by helicopters, police cars launching off of ramps just at the thought of killing out when you hear that cell phone ring. No, Roman, I don't want to go bowling. It's boring. More boring than driving down these roads obeying traffic laws (which I've done).
I wrote this cuz I realized Roman calls you all the time because he's lonely as hell.
Also, second appearance of titmice in a few months. F*cked up how they aren't mice.
Comic: The Discovery of Pokemon
Personally I think Andrew and Andy did a great job on this one.
Andrew's writing, as usual, spot on. If this were canon, I'd gladly accept (though I weep for Lawrence's dog). Clever boy.
Andy's art is wonderful. He really flexed his art muscles in this one. Stupid, sexy art muscles...
Andy's art is great in this one. And he corrected a LOT of canon-issues in my script. Good job, Andy.
I might just be really into this one because it reminds me of watching the "Busy World of Richard Scarry" as a kid. Who am I kidding? I was watching this a few weeks ago and didn't regret a second of it...
The exterminator in this comic destroyed this towns economy single handed. That takes skills. Also, he's dressed like Dale from King of the Hill. This anteater has won my heart.
Article: 8 Fallout PSAs
This was a ton of fun to play around with art wise. It also brings to light all of the odd things you accept as fact while playing Fallout that would be impossible if they weren't. The "Take a Nap" poster is how I deal with real life medical issues. Seriously though, does anyone know how to cure Insomnia? My current solution isn't working.
Comic: It's a Secret to Everybody
The whole nature of Sheik/Zelda in Ocarina of Time makes me think Link could definitely be questioning his sexuality and be just real confused over the whole thing (plus, remember, he went through puberty while unconscious in a temple). Julia did some nice art for this too. Overall, I like this one a lot, plus the idea of Link having a conservative tree-dad makes me laugh.
Article: The Complete Guide to Doctor Who
On the internet, you get your mix of sarcasm, trolling, people getting way too upset about things that don't actually matter, and cats. This article delivered sarcasm and gentle trolling. Now, I'm a Doctor Who fan. Not the kind of Doctor Who fan that writes odd fanfiction in the middle of the night, and not even the kind of Doctor Who fan that has seen every episode of the show (even the lost ones), but I still really enjoy the show (Donna will always be my favorite). As a "middle of the road" fan, I could hear the non-fans saying "Yes. I know a trolling when I see it. This is my kind of Doctor Who" and the dedicated fans... not reading the article because they know everything so who cares what I imagined them saying.
I was kinda blown away when I found out Doctor Who's name wasn't Doctor Who, but just The Doctor and he's not even a doctor. So I made an article to troll Julia, who's way more into Doctor Who than me.
Article: Console Review - The Xbox One
Andrew delivered a grade A review for this console. It totally sold me on... something.
This might be making my list just because I remember me and Andrew's shared excitement as he opened the box from Microsoft only to discover the hat and game (I was excited for the hat. It's sitting on my desk. Who doesn't want a giraffe hat?!).
On a serious note, WE STILL HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO PLAY THE THING.
I like the Xbox One more than the PS4 cuz at least they sent us a game. Still total silence from the folks at Sony. How do we become one of those shitty reviewers who are clearly being paid off for good reviews? We will sell out our integrity so fast for free games and money.
Another game review brought to us by Andrew. Unlike the Zoo Tycoon one however, this game we actually played.
Andrew got the game a few days before I did (I glared at him for days, stewing in my jealousy) and when he wrote this... well, I mainly just skimmed it because I was playing the game.
Then I played it and then actually read it. Spot on. That rapping shop owner? He really did rap. He even made 90's rapping hand motions to boot. Funny, actually informative, will trust again for game reviews.
Speaking of free games, I was given this game for free but my review is legit. This is a legit good game and there is a legit rapping shop owner. But then again that's exactly what someone being paid off for good reviews would say. Hmmmm, probably shouldn't have introduced the possibility that I'd be a sell out if given the opportunity.
Picture: Attack on Puppy
Look at this motherfucker. Just look at him.
This is a sequel to one we did about dogs last year and I think I like the cat one better. Still working on the goldfish one (that's a lie). Anna-Maria Jung drew some cute-as-hell cats being assholes here.
Article: Pwn Up - Monsters in My Pocket
There's something so real about the lengths people would go for those virtual pets and the bizarre mixture of fictional creatures and real emotions is pretty much the defining characteristic of fandom. Also, I'm quite fond of the header image I made to commemorate the virtual life of "Dick the Tamagotchi", the story of whom will remain with us forever. If that wasn't enough, that same week we got to see a Groom's Cake consisting of a few dozen gaming-themed cupcakes, including a little "Dorkly" cupcake that looked the most delicious. Hint hint, our fans should send us baked goods. Preferebly non-poisoned.
Comic: Rauru's Plan
Andy's drawings of the gangsta Gorons and floaty Link and majestic Rauru are all so good. Also, yeah, Rauru your plan is just dumb as shit and I've been waiting like 15 years to tell you that.
Video: Bowser Wants Guns
I wrote this like 8 months before we actually made it. I thought it was terrible and stupid and shoved it into a folder. Then we needed a new script and I revisited it and thought it was okay. It ended up being one of the last Dorkly Bits produced and I liked the final product so much more than I expected to. That last shot makes me giggle pretty consistently.
Also, DORKLY BITS ARE GOING TO BE BACK IN JANUARY SO GET EXCITED.