Fuck, Marry, Kill: Pokemon Starters

The thing that had attracted you to Squirtle in the first place was his unassuming, demure nature. But quickly after getting married, you see a new side of him. He starts packing on the muscle, he becomes a brash loudmouth, and soon you realize... your Squirtle is a Blastoise. His training takes over his life, and you begin to wonder where your "us" time has gone. Even when he's with you, it's clear that his mind is on perfecting his Rain Dish. You start planning couples dates on HowAboutWe, and discover that you can't make your man have fun. "I'm sorry, I'm just really tired." The spark is gone. Speaking of sparks, you've noticed some electricity between you and Blitzle down the street.


There's only one Pokemon left, click through to feed one of these battle-pets to a hungry grave.

 

Fuck, Marry, Kill: Pokemon Starters

 

 

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