Nothing says "nerd" like having your nose buried in a book, so buy your nerdy friend one of these paper facemasks. It's hard to go wrong: there are so many books out there that even the biggest nerds haven't read all of them.
Whether your friend is a comic book nerd or a film nerd, BluRay offers The Wolverine AND that movie that Harmony Korine made by living with a group of transient homeless vandals for a couple of weeks, both in gorgeous 1080p.
While most people don't care about apps, nerds have been waiting to get their hands on smartphones and all their fantastic capabilities since the dawn of Star Trek. Since your dorky friends have probably spent all their money on ointments, "beam them up" one of these futuristic telephones this holiday season.
Nerds are - unlike the rest of us - super into the auditory stimulation of music. Those Michael Cera lookalikes are always listening to the Beyoncé album or the new Pokémon soundtrack or something an "é" in it. They just love geeking out to a medium defined by pitch, rhythm, dynamics, and the sonic qualities of timbre and texture.
It doesn't take a scientist to tell you that nerds are constantly shivering. Deck your nerdy loved ones with classic geek gear like scarves, mittens, and warm sweaters.
There's no better way to tell someone "i heart u" than to bake them some of these nerdy holiday edibles. Go for the "high score" by frosting them in classic video game colors like light green and red.
Put on your prescription-lens sports goggles, because it's time for some sports! Geek out with your friends inside some shoulder pads and helmets and become the envy of all the other poindexters in the park.
If your friend is a nerd, he/she/ze is most like in a sex-positive, mutually satisfying, monogamish relationship that is always ready to move in exciting new directions. Why not help them to enjoy that with a device that will stimulate their desire for sexual pain?
No four-eyes would ever dare to be seen without four wheels too. Surprise your buddy with the means to visit all sorts of nerdy spots: a movie theatre, the store, a highway. Just remind your friend to watch out for the Dork Police!
Most people hate counting money, but nerds will get a kick out of calculating the dollar amount based of denomination and estimated bag volume. Get this gift for that special dingus in your life and watch as they thrill to count it and then spend it on their favorite dweeb collectibles like food, shelter, and heat. Kick your feet up and rest assured that your egghead friends will never know your secret source for perfect holiday gift ideas: The Internet.