One of the best parts about Batman is also his greatest weakness: he's only human, and therefore susceptible to looking as stupid and idiotic as the rest of us. Most people are all too familiar with his brush with bat-nipples and his shark-repellant phase. His deepest and darkest secrets, however, are buried deep within his comics origins. Below are five truly embarrassing moments from a man who is not afraid to wear underwear over his pants.
5. The Caped Crusader Croons Christmas Carols with Cops
Batman's true religion is justice, which never takes a holiday. But stalking the streets 365 days a year means that, at some point, tinsel and holly will briefly impede crime fighting before they are used as improvisational restraints following righteous beatings. Christmas typically brings Mr. Freeze or some gimmicky dickweed like Calendar Man out of the woodwork, going balls-out in hopes of destroying the pagan tradition turned-Christian holiday turned-annual Walmart sacrificial stampede ritual. In Batman #219, the GCPD somehow convinces the world's greatest detective to blow off his endless neighborhood watch and belt out a few ballads. They sing for a while, and for a brief moment Batman believes that Christmas is something else other than a reminder that his dead parents aren't getting him any presents. Just when the yuletide couldn't get any cheerier, our hero has a shocking realization...
Amidst the joy of singing songs about his own body odor, the disrepair of the Batmobile and Robin spontaneously producing an egg from his butthole, Batman completely spaced the "Joker got away" thing. As it turns out, Gotham was inspired by the power of Batman to cease committing crimes for an entire night. In one scene, a kid steals a bitchin' Batman action figure only to return it later because he decides that the real Batman would toss his delinquent ass in a Blackgate iso cell. So for a few hours, nobody was mugged, assaulted or murdered in Gotham City. And Santa brought Bruce Wayne another present that year -- willful ignorance of the plague of unreported violent crimes.