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Pwn Up: Pwnkemon X Y

I was walking through my kitchen one day and hit my elbow against a drawer that was slightly open. Instead of saying "ow that hurt," I said "ow that did a lot of damage".  I held my head in shame for the rest of the day.



I just recently saw a commercial for the new Pokemon X and Y. It was advertised with people ages 16-18. My first thought when I saw them talking about the new Pokemon was "These kids are way too old to be playing Pokemon!" Immediately after that thought I remembered that I'm 22 and love Pokemon. I still collect Pokemon cards, play Pokemon games, and watch the show...and I'm married.



I  completely translated Al Bhed in Final Fantasy X myself within a couple hours of starting the game, just because I couldn't stand not knowing every little thing that was going on. I still have the notes in one of my old notebooks. Yes, I had an internet connection. No, I didn't think to just look it up.



Recently, I have been making my way through every single Legend of Zelda game. I had finished all the hand-held games on the original consoles, Both versions of link to the past and ocarina of time for good measure, and all of the home console games except for two. Windwaker and Twilight Princess, Which I finally got my hands on for gamecube from a fellow on craigslist, While playing through Windwaker, my mom came in and made a comment about how I was playing 'Some kids series' to me. She asked what the series was called then laughed and walked away. Quickly, I switched to TP, where I was directly behind the demonic scream cutscene at Snowpeak. I then asked my mom to come down stairs. She asked what it was, and  Itold her to 'Watch the kids game', I told her it was from the same series, then proceeded into the cutscene, there was a loud scream from both my mom and the game. And I wasn't allowed to play gamecube for a couple of days.

-Mike S.


(For dramatic effect, play this video in the background)

Since the first Pokemon game I owned was Silver when my grandpa got it for me one Christmas, I only got to watch my brother play Blue. The things with the biggest significance to me were the game corner and Lavender Town. When my brother got there, I remember hearing the theme for the town and getting really scared just hearing it (I was 4) and it took me a while before I would let my brother play with the sound on. I eventually started watching him go through the town. When the ghosts started appearing, my brother stood strong and told me they were fake (he's 1.5 years older than me by the way, so we were still just little kids) but I started crying when Charmeleon wouldn't attack it, and my mom took away the game for a while. When she gave it back, my brother went through and finished the area. When he revealed Marowak, I asked him "Why is it a ghost? I thought Pokemon just fainted." and bless his heart, he told me Pokemon could die but only under very specific conditions. We went through our official Pokemon Handbook and he told me exactly how every Pokemon could die. The ones I remember were Charizard's chain having it's flame go out, Blastoise's chain leaving it's shell, Gloom opening it's eyes, Cubone having it's Skull taken off, Mewtwo's "Neck-Pipe" being cut, and that's all I can really remember.

So Lavender Town really showed me how much my brother, who is barely older than me, really cared about me. He didn't want me to think that Pokemon could die, we faced the challenge of Lavender Town together.



And this week's "Robert H. Does A Bunch of Math" Award goes to...

 I was dissatisfied with ScrewAttack's Goku vs. Superman death battle, so I decided to do my own math.

At a power level of 139, Master Roshi destroyed the moon with a kamehameha wave. He taught this move to Goku, who then mastered this move, so we can assume, logically, that at a power level of 139, Goku could destroy the moon. Keep this in mind.

The last section where power levels are actually shown for Goku is the Frieza saga, where his power level in his base form is three million, and his power level in his SSJ1 form is 150 million.

The conversion from SSJ1 to SSJ2 is a two times multiplier, and the conversion from SSJ2 to SSJ3 is a four times multiplier. So let's multiply Goku's SSJ1 power level by eight, and you get his power level, at SSJ3, to be 1.2 billion.

Now divide that by 139 to get the total numbers of moons he could destroy now with one kamehameha wave (8,633,093.525).

Now divide that by 49.3 (number of moons to fit in one Earth) to get the total number of earths he could obliterate with one kamehameha wave (175,113.4589).

Now we multiply that by 54 quadrillion to get the amount of megatons of TNT that one kamehameha wave at SSJ3 is worth (9.456*10^21).

This means that one kamehameha wave, at SSJ3, assuming Goku has no increase in power level since the Frieza saga, is worth 9.456 sextillion megatons of TNT, 175,113 Earths, or 8,633,093 moons.
-Robert H.