1. Violence Killer: Turok New Generation (US Name = Turok 2: Seeds of Evil)
What's the only thing better than killing dinosaurs? Killing VIOLENCE. Killing the concept of "causing physical harm against others." Which, if you've ever used the Cerebral Bore, you'll know that's actually not the worst description. Better than planting seeds of evil - this title is a full-grown plant of evil.
2. God Slayer: Sonata of the Far Away Sky (US Name = Crystalis)
Crystalis is one of those names that doesn't really mean anything - it's a vaguely fantasy-esque title, but nothing else. Whereas "GOD SLAYER" is pretty badass - someone described by their slaying of gods? Pretty cool, especially when there's a song involved about how distant the sky is.
3. Fierce Turtle Ninja Legend (US Name = Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
The titles are pretty close, but swapping "Teenage" (lame) for "Fierce" is a solid switch. Changing "Mutant" with "Legend" is pretty much on equal footing though, but this still comes out ahead for letting us forget how weird it is for a bunch of sewer-teens to be led around by a creepy old man rat and get stuck with the responsibility of battling evil on a daily basis.
4. Hot-Blooded Tough Guy Kunio (US Name = Renegade)
"Renegade"? Bo-ring. Way too much description for a guy named Kunio so that we know his blood temperature AND his toughness status? Way, way better.
5. Hot Blooded Tough Guy Kunio: The Further Brawls (US Name = Double Dragon II, Gameboy Version)
How many brawls has legendarily boiling-blooded / physically robust brawl-master Kunio been in? Enough that they have to specify "The Further Brawls." This ridiculously long name is so much better than simply referring to the game as a sequel to Double Dragon (which should probably be Quadruple Dragon, right?)
6. Ar tonelico III: The Girl's Song that Pulls the Trigger of the World's Demise (US Name = Ar tonelico Qoga: Knell of Ar Ciel)
"The Girl's Song that Pulls the Trigger of the World's Demise" makes so little sense and is so unnecessarily long that it's hard not to be impressed by it. Far more impressive than "Knell of Ar Ciel," which isn't very long and doesn't bring up the imagery of a woman's song shooting a gun at the planet.
7. Castle Excellent (US Name = Castlequest)
It sounds sorta like you would fight 90's-era Pauly Shore throughout the game, instead of a bunch of knights and wizards. And frankly, it would be a lot more enjoyable to brutally murder Pauly Shore than "anyone else."
8. Mother 2: Gyiyg Strikes Back! (US Name = EarthBound)
EarthBound? That's a direction, not a cool title for a videogame. And "Mother 2: Gyiyg Strikes Back!" both brings to mind the best Star Wars film AND it ends with an exclamation point, which adds excitement to pretty much any group of words! (see?)
9. Top Secret: The Resurrection of Hitler (US Name = Bionic Commando)
Why resurrect Hitler in your videogame if you're not going to mention that in the title? Bionic Commando doesn't even hint at the fact that Hitler is both resurrected AND gruesomely exploded by the end of the game. Seems like a waste.
Although, now that we all realize they could have called this game "You Get To Explode Hitler's Face At The End," even the cooler title feels like a waste.