7.

The 7 Types of Grand Theft Auto Players

GTA is not The Sims, despite what GTA San Andreas and IV would have you believe. But, in an attempt to give you yet another thing to do in these massive games, Rockstar decided to let you start dating and forming relationships with friends and potential Hot Coffee-participators alike - relationships that had to be maintained, by taking a break from your usual bouts of nihilistic carnage to go bowling or to a bar. For some, this is an important aspect of the GTA games. For everyone else, please someone tell me how to destroy this stupid fucking cellphone.

 

8.

The 8 Types of Grand Theft Auto Players

GTA games aren't all about gratuitous levels of crime, sex, and unspeakable violence - I mean, they totally are, but they also have some minigames you can play every now and then to convince your mom that the game's actually about bowling or rescuing sick people in an ambulance (then go back to the crime/sex/violence stuff the second she leaves the room). Maybe you want a game that's a fire fighter/ambulance driver simulator with some fun sports and activities to do on the side, and your best option just happens to be a game that most people play as the unholy lovechild of Rambo and Dexter.