1. Elite

    Hierarch! I have returned from battle. I have slain many humans and have brought honor and glory to the Covenant!

  2. Hierarch

    Excellent work, my child. I hereby promote you to the rank of General.

  3. Elite


  4. Hierarch

    And, as befitting a warrior of your stature, you will be given this glorious golden armor to wear into battle.

  5. Elite


  6. Hierarch

    And this giant golden helmet. And this light-up energy sword.

  7. Elite


  8. Hierarch


  9. Elite

    Hang on. Don't we have a camouflage pattern, or-

  10. Hierarch


  11. Elite

    Wait, don't you think this is a little showy for a soldier's uniform? It doesn't really blend into the battlefield. Actually, now that I think about it, nothing we own does.

  12. Hierarch


  13. Elite

    No! Never! It's just… I don't want to be standing out in the woods in bright gold armor like a big shiny bullet-magnet.

  14. Hierarch

    A true warrior is without fear! Besides, you'll blend in with our brightly-colored turrets and bunkers and vehicles…

  15. Elite

    …and guns, and towers, and comm relays, and everything else, for forerunners' sake. Even our bullets look like flying glow sticks!

  16. Hierarch

    Ah, but we have technology that makes our soldiers completely invisible!

  17. Elite

    Yeah, and you gave it to like two guys. Meanwhile the rest of us are riding around in a giant purple spider that vomits green lasers. It's not very subtle.

  18. Hierarch

    But effective!

  19. Elite

    Yeah, maybe, if its weak spot didn't shine like a halogen lamp. Look, I'm just saying that maybe we'd be a better army if we employed stealth once in a while. Maybe tone down the shiny purple theme a bit.

  20. Hierarch

    Ah, but imagine the horror the humans must feel, facing wave upon wave of bright violet tanks, iridescent fuchsia warships! The very colors of death and terror!

  21. Elite

    I think that might be a cultural thing, actually.

  22. Hierarch

    Do the humans not defecate themselves in fear of our purple tanks?

  23. Elite

    Mostly they just open fire. Or laugh, and then open fire. I could show you if you want, they're just over the next ridge.

  24. Hierarch

    They're that close? Impossible! Why didn't we see them coming?

  25. Elite

    See, this goes back to the camouflage thing I was talking about before. Their guys are all dressed in grays and greens. As it turns out? Very hard to spot.

  26. Hierarch

    Hmm… your words intrigue me, general. Perhaps I require your services in an even higher office. You will become part of my personal honor guard.

  27. Elite

    Really? Oh, wow! That's so- wait. What does the uniform look like?