"I'm trying to do that force-choke thing, but on myself."
"Loneliness leads to getting pets. Getting pets leads to dressing up pets in dumb costumes. Dressing up pets in dumb costumes leads to suffering."
"Listen, if you're going to ruin my life, at least respect the canon and get a decent costume."
"That's no moon...but other dogs DO howl at it a lot."
"WHY DO I EXIST?!"