If Wii Tennis never made you grin like an idiot as you flailed your arms and unconsciously synched your breathing with the back-and-forth of the rally, you've failed some kind of Turing test. If Wii Bowling never made you scream cusses at your 8-year-old cousin for obliterating you on the lanes, you need to reevaluate your life priorities. If you've never gotten drunk and played Wii Golf and thrown the controller across the room and it knocks over a picture of your great-granddad and the glass breaks and your dad is screaming and crying because that was the only picture he had of his grandpa, then we have nothing to say to each other. Baseball and Boxing are fine, too, I guess.
Tetris is the haiku of video games: utterly simple, breathtakingly elegant. I have had more Tetris dreams than sex dreams. Tetris nestles into our brains like it belongs there. Packaged with the original Game Boy (and its color version, Tetris DX, with the Game Boy Color), Tetris completed handheld gaming like Renée did Tom. There is, however, a dystopian alternate reality where this never happened; Tetris's manufacture for the Game Boy, and its subsequent 30 million sold units, only came at the tail end of a protracted, years-long legal battle between Nintendo, Atari, and multiple developers. So remember: When a big corporation wins a big lawsuit, it's always a good thing.
Arguably one of the best games of all time for arguably one of the best consoles of all time, Super Mario World spiked the ball Super Mario Bros 3 had set for it and blew the damn roof off of what a Mario game looks like, what a platformer looks like, and what a video game looks like in general. Let's talk about the controls: beautiful, buttery-smooth, flowing from your brain to your fingers to the screen like you're Mario's spinal cord. Let's talk about the physics: Sir Isaac Newton would kneel and weep after a hot minute with our boy the plumber. Let's talk about the fact that you hop on the back of a dinosaur like that's not something worth taking a minute to thank God and the Devil both for. Let's talk about how Super Mario World conveys a fully realized artistic vision, one you can play, and how incredible that is in and of itself. And then let's stop talking so we can both find an emulator and play it.