Sup, internet-bros? 2012 is almost over and everyone's doing their dumbass end of the year lists. But only one list matters: YA BOY, BRODY'S! (that's me) I played all the best bro games this year, and I ranked them from BROest to lowest. And assuming the bro-pocalypse doesn't bro up the planet and send us all to bro-blivion this Friday, remember that these were the chillest games of the year.
10. Halo 4
OF COURSE we gotta start with the sequel to Halo 3, Halo 3: Part 2 (aka Halo 4). Mister Chief is back and he's a bigger badass than ever. Cortana's back too and has a virus or something, just like the one I got when I tried to download that file labeled "cortanas_boobs_REAL.exe" on Internet Explorer. There's hardcore shootin', hardcore explosions, and hardcore PWNING OF NOOBS in Halo Multiplayer (or there would be if everyone would stop being chodes and killing me so fast).
Bros: (like "Pros" but way chiller)
- Cortana is hot as shiz
Bcons: (like "Cons" but also with more chillness)
- What is going on in the story does anyone know??
- No one will drive me when I'm warthog gunnin c'mon idiots
- I would be awesome at multiplayer if everyone would stop being so dumb
Score: 4.5 Fist bumps
9. Max Payne 3
Cool guns? Check. Bullet time? Check. Gettin mad drunk? ONE MILLION CHECKS!!
This game is cool as shit. You all the coolest things: kill some dudes, save some fine honeys, and as well you get drunk as shit and take some cool drugs. If I did have to nitpick though, the one big problem would have to be: dude did NOT look like wahlburg at all. WTF??? Also where was that chick from that 70s show?? Did anyone even see the movie?!
Actually you know what FUCK this game.
- Bullet Time
- No wahlburg???
- Where's wahlburg
- Gimme Wahlburg
Score: 0 Wahlburgs
8. Medal of Honor: Warfighter
When I boot up a videogame w/ my boys Jaysen and Taybler, we want two things: some GOOD-ASS war fighting (which this game has in spades) and some ICE COLD NATTY LIGHT. Our boy Skylar couldn't finish the keg from the night before even when we kept forcing him to drink more and more til he passed out, so it was up to us to tap that biotch. We spent the night gettin crunk and shootin the shit outta some turds in this hella cool game after droppin off skylar in front of the emergency room when he stopped makin wind outta his mouth (aka BREATHING as Darrell, that whiny little nerd, kept saying). To get serious for a sec though, this game reminded me of my older bro who is in afghanistan right now and that was very touching (he's selling black market slankets to farmers over there after being dishonorably discharged for being too epic for the armys tastes).
- War fighting
- Had a skunked beer
- RIP skylar :'(
Score: 90/100 Hellas
7. Assassin's Creed 3
Guess I don't need to study for that US history final, cuz I done LIVED IT. In this game, you go out there assasinating bitches such as some british Hugh Grant mothereffer and other british dudes too (elton john?). Connor, the main assassassin, was hella cool, even though he's a Indian and tried to steal the land that rightfully belonged to REAL AMERICANS like Benjamin Washington and Abraham Washington. Luckily we gave them all those casinos but I think we should get a piece of that action too since we're american n shit and they fuckin cheated me in blackjack once. I learned to count cards watchin that movie 21 and I was pretty sure there was a -3 card. THAT is why I hit on 24, Jaysen.
- America, FUCK YEAH
- FUCK YEAH AMERICA
- hoodie guy sucks
- fuck those Hugh Grant motherfuckers
Score: All Five Stars From the America Flag
6. Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4: Golden
shin megami tensei: persona 4 was released for the ps2 maybe the most bombass of all playstations (other than hte ps3) way back in 2008, and it has held up spectacularly. its still da bomb! but the makers decided to release an expanded version for the Vita and gotdamn, was it worth the effin wait. the game is vast, beautiful, and perhaps most excitedly, incredibly engaging. the story sucks you in and does NOT let you go (much like Max Payne starring the guy from Boogie Nights with the huge dong). there are some slick HD graphics and the mechanics are vastly more user-friendly than its ps2 counterpart. but really, the greatest thing about this game is the small details like sound and voice acting are just as stellar as the bigger parts of the game. overall, a fantastic package that will keep you busy for weeks on end, and a must buy.
- effin gorgeous
- good as shit graphics
- hella good story
- don't have time to play it again!
- no mark wahlburg