6:00 Wake up, hungover from a night of drinking whiskey and remembering painful memories.
6:01 Vomit, providing melancholy narration between hurls.
6:15 Breakfast! Half a grapefruit, some Raisin Bran, and a handle of the cheapest whiskey available.
6:45 Stare mournfully at a photo of Mona and Rose
6:55 Stare joyfully at a photo of the handle of whiskey he just drank
7:05 Work on a sudoku, 2nd handle of whiskey
7:38 Vomit whiskey all over finely tailored suit
7:45 Carpool to work with Passos.
8:10 Narrate the drive until Passos says "stop being so noir, dude."
8:15 Think about cosplaying Zach Galifianakis from The Hangover Part 2
8:24 Remember murdering the entire New Jersey mafia in a 24 hour period over a bar fight
8:30 Punch in at work.
8:35 Duck behind sofa as armed kidnappers swarm the building.
9:00 Finish murdering the 40th kidnapper by diving through a plate glass window and unloading his pistol directly into the kidnapper's brain
9:26 While collapsing, shoot the kidnapper who delivered your death shot.
9:26:30 Down an entire bottle of painkillers.
9:27 Takes a moment to appreciate the beauty of life.
9:28 Continue murdering anything that moves.
9:45 Save the entire family from the army of a hundred kidnappers singlehandedly.
10:05 Get chided for almost letting the kidnappers get away.
10:06 rest of the day Whiskey break