4. Video Ouija (Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

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It's common knowledge that Atari was partly responsible for the North American Video Game Crash of 1983 (assuming you read videogame-related Wikipedia entries instead of paying attention during history classes) and became the pariah of the industry. Had they not, the company probably would've had the financial assets to haphazardly put together a game like Video Ouija. The one roadblock would have been that they'd have been hard-pressed to figure out the occult abilities of the game to trap the spirits of the recently departed.

We should count ourselves fortunate that Atari never decided to undergo an ambitious project like Video Ouija. The game allowed you to commune with the dead, but mostly an angry ghost and his sister's deceased child (who wouldn't stop crying). The worst part came when someone near you died – their spirit would become trapped in the 8-bit game. And of all the systems to be trapped in for all eternity (or until a witch doctor brought you back from the dead), Atari would probably be dead last. Well, maybe Virtual Boy. Speaking of…

3. Kevin Costner's Waterworld (The Simpsons)

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Leave it to The Simpsons – back during those halcyon days when watching an episode from start to finish was actually an enjoyable experience – to accurately capture the on and off-screen debacle that was Waterworld, with Milhouse painting a fairly accurate picture of our disappointment over those god awful Waterworld tie-in video games that we wasted our birthday money and allowances on during the '90s. The most horrendous of which being Waterworld for Nintendo's doomed Virtual Boy – the unholiest of marriages between two of the world's greatest known evils. Fun fact: It was largely regarded as the WORST Virtual Boy game. And considering the Virtual Boy was largely considered to be the worst mainstream gaming system ever, that might make Waterworld the worst game in history. So the odds of the arcade version being worth $10 a game seems pretty questionable.

2. Global Thermonuclear War (WarGames)

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Remember that one must-have video game that all the gaming magazines were talking about (in the time when game magazine were still a thing), yet it wasn't hitting the shelves until Christmas? And your parents, fed up with your gratingly childish impatience over said video game, warned you that your pursuit would only lead to thermonuclear war on a global scale? Our parents maybe, but David Lightman's in WarGames were too preoccupied fulfilling their cliche roles as oblivious movie parents who don't even know their son is a veritable computer genius – let alone that he was able to circumvent NORAD's sophisticated data encryption. The game brings the US and Soviet Union to the brink of war – until computer playing decides that the only possible outcome is a stalemate. So – it's a strategy game involving actual nuclear weaponry that cannot be won – and NORAD couldn't tell the difference. Just watch yourself the next time you play World of Warcraft, you might just inadvertently start World War III.

1. Heroin Hero (South Park)

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Would we want to play a game about shooting heroin and chasing a cartoon dragon that you can never catch? It sounds incredible, but probably not, if only because we fear we would never be able to stop ourselves.

Seeing as how the once staggeringly popular Guitar Hero series' legacy is starting to wane and, by extension, that of the faux-musicians who relished in the public's adulation over their once wicked toy instrument skills, it makes sense that Activision would follow in the tradition of washed-up bands of yesteryear's fall from grace by releasing a game like Heroin Hero. Granted, this is after fitting and true-to-life installments like Blaming-the-Band-for-Your-Own-Failure-During-an-MTV-Interview Hero and Oh-Man-Look-How-Fat-the-Lead-Singer-Got Hero.