5. The Legend of Zelda

So, people like Zelda, right? It's a fun game? Cool, let's show a guy with proto-Kramer hair randomly screaming Zelda words, striking poses, and bellowing "ZELDA!" over and over for no conceivable reason. Nintendo had the 20 year old German expressionist filmmaker demographic down cold with this one.

4. Pole Position

"Hey, boring uptight 1950's family on a pleasant drive – ARE YOU READY FOR THE HAND OF GOD TO RIP YOU FROM YOUR PEACEFUL EXISTENCE AND FORCE YOU TO RACE POLE POSITION CARS FOR HIS AMUSEMENT? Watch as the family dies, one by one, thanks to the insatiable cruelty of the Almighty Lord. Also, buy this crappy-looking videogame."

3. CyberMorph

This is very close to being a mildly-competent videogame commercial – there's a kid, he's a playing a videogame, he's having fun…then he vomits all over the screen. How fun is this game? It's vomit-inducing! Which is…not a good thing, right? Personally, I don't like vomiting every time I play a game, but then again I used to think god wouldn't pluck me out of my car and force my family into a deathrace. So what do I know?

2. Gameboy Micro

Ohhhhhh…now I finally understand why their slogan was "Gameboy Micro: Sexually Attractive To Mice."

1. Monster Rancher Battle Card

The commercial makes a lot of mistakes, namely seemingly being made in Windows Movie Maker, starting out with a bizarre clip from an old horror movie of a guy screaming (which they believe represents false excitement?), and using most of the commercial to showcase the Monster Ranchers cartoon, instead of the games. Basically, this looks like something an ad agency might have outsourced to a 6th grader in exchange for some extra credit in typing class. If that is the case, they got their money's worth.