Okay everyone, let's-a sit down. Now we all know-a why we're here. We're-a getting sick of fighting like a thousand enemies apiece with-a no help.
He's right, it sucks. It's even worse for those of us who can only be hit one time. We need to group together and sweep through everything, one world at a time.
But Sonic, you already have help-
(angry whisper) Dammit Tails, how many times to I have to tell you, you speak when spoken to.
Okay, each of us has-a skills that will come in handy for the group.
I can get behind the wheel of literally any vehicle and pilot it with ease. You need a wheelman, I'm your guy.
I can run really fast. I could scout for the group.
I'm a pretty good tinkerer. I can make something useful out of what's basically scraps from destroyed robots, so I could do gadgets.
I have a knack for getting into places unnoticed. I could gather intel, or sabotage a place.
I can climb places no other human being could possibly climb, and cling to tiny ledges with just my fingertips for basically as long as I want. I think I'd make a pretty good sentry.
Yeah, I can kinda do the same stuff as those two. If they need help I could give either of them a hand.
Alright! Now we're-a getting somewhere!
I pretty much made time my bitch a long time ago. Anyone needs something done along those lines, I could help.
I think I'd be useful on the bomb squad. I have a tendency to never be killed by what should be fatal injuries. No lie, I've been stabbed in the heart by demon swords about a half dozen times. Never bothered me much. So if collateral damage isn't a big deal, I can just go set off any mines or bombs we find.
I wouldn't worry about collateral damage, in my experience most buildings are totally indestructible.
Mario looks at the back of the room, where a handful of characters silently sit.
Come on guys, don't-a be shy. Speak up.
I'm pretty good at killing things. So you know
Well that's not such a big-a deal, we're all good at that.
Okay, so maybe we should just go with what we know. Everyone work together to kill stuff, as a big group.
I like the way this guy thinks.
Now let's-a just hold on-
Let's hear him out, I kinda like this idea. I'm pretty good at killing stuff, too.
Yeah, I'm way better at killing than driving.
Killing stuff is how I get my robot scraps. And all I ever really make with them is weapons anyway, which I then use to go kill more stuff.
Killing works for me.
Then it's settled. Everyone team up, and just kill the hell out of everything we see. Mario, since this was your idea, we'll start with the Mushroom Kingdom.
This isn't exactly what I had in mind, but I guess it's-a better than killing everything all by myself. Okay everybody, let's-a-go!
With the help of his army of protagonists, Mario fights his way to the final castle in 3 minutes.
Mario, we meet again who the hell are all these people?
The group immediately demolishes Bowser with a hurricane of gunshots, thrown weapons, magic spells and melee attacks.
Too bad Ryu and Sub-Zero didn't come along.
Yeah, I talked to them about that. Apparently beating everyone by themselves is kinda the whole point for them.