Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

OK, so my Dad just started gaming to get in with the 'Hip' and 'In' crowd (namely MW2 and BC2) and reckons he's pretty good at it. He is constantly sitting on the couch over the weekends, yelling "Yeah Baby!" every time he gets a moderately lucky/skillful kill. The other day I'm sitting in the other room and I hear him playing MW2 loudly. I was about to go in and ask him to shut up when I hear the iconic 'HISSS" of a combat knife, followed by my father's angry muttering "The combat knife, we meet again, my arch nemesis" I nearly crapped myself laughing.-John
So me and a bunch of my friends were playing Gears of War 2 on the weekend for the 25 times XP weekend. We hosted a game of Social Guardian and all of these random people started joining instantly. We played throughout the whole game and we destroyed the other team every round. At the end of the game one of the guys on there team started whining about how "it took two COG soldiers to take down one locust soldier". After he said that the room went quite and I said "you should be use to having two guys double team you" everyone in the room started laughing and the whole entire Locust team quit right after that.-Justin
I was playing Halo reach with one of my friends on Xbox live and we got to a part where a warthog was optional. We really don't like the vehicles much so we decided not to use it. I proceeded to destroy the warthog and my friend asked me why. I replied, "So the covenant don't use it." He continued by stating from his immense halo knowledge (all from halopedia might I say) that the covenant would never be caught dead in a warthog. Needless to say a warthog with 2 elites, one at the wheel the other at the turret come barreling around the corner and splatter my friend. I then heard his girlfriend say over the mic, "Wow you got owned, maybe I should be sleeping with your friend instead."-Arman


On Modern Warfare 2 at 8 in the morning I join a game to hear a guy say suck my dick to a little kid and the little kid says to him "I'll suck your dick until the skin comes off." I died laughing.-Asar
While playing MW2, one player who was getting worked started smack talking because he thought he was a gangsta because lived in the "hood" in Chicago.  I replied "I didn't know you could redeem food stamps for X-Box live points.-Keith
While playing a game of free for all in MW2, two brothers beganarguing about whether tickling another guys asshole was gay. They cameto the consensus that it was only gay if you thought it was gay. A fewminutes later, one of them screamed, and then said "Dude don't try totickle my asshole". I don't even want to know what the fuck was goingon.-Will
Around 2 AM, I was playing MW2 in a team deathmatch. I was getting pretty hungry while waiting in the lobby, so I told everyone "I'm going to get a Twinkie, be right back." When I returned, they were throwing dick jokes left and right. I got angry and screamed, "THE NEXT BITCH TO SAY SOMETHING IS GONNA HAVE THEIR DICK BE MY MIDNIGHT SNACK." For the next 45 minutes, the entire room was quiet.-Rachel