At first glance, an "epic Halo jump" video sounds like a nerdy version of parkour. Why watch someone do it in a videogame when you can see crazy jumps in real life? The answer: Real people don't shoot themselves to impossible heights using rocket launchers. But come to think of it, they should.
Usually little kids on Xbox Live stick to crass insults and racial slurs, but every once in a while the gods will smile upon you and you'll overhear one arguing with his parents. This video has that and a whole lot more. Crying, adorable accents, and overall shoddy parenting; what more could you ask for in an Internet video?
Maybe a cat.
Some people use their gamertag to describe themselves, some use it to proudly display their family name, and apparently, some use it to take a dump on one of the world's religions and see how many people they can offend. As you probably could have guessed, the Christian gamers of Xbox Live didn't take kindly to playing in the same room as "Jesus Died LOL." Some of the more "devout" followers defended the name of their lord and savior with threats of physical harm and curse-laden tirades. It's like Jesus said on the mount, "If you disagree with me you're a n00b faggot."
Performing the seemingly impossible task of out-nerding his rod-wielding predecessor, Star Wars Kid, Halo Kid has stolen the hearts of Internet enthusiasts everywhere. Utilizing his god-like lack of shame, Halo Kid takes us through a hard-to-watch demonstration of his homemade cardboard guns and armor complete with air tea-bagging. I really hope the cardboard armor is at least somewhat protective: He looks like he might bruise easy.
Have mercy, bullies. Have mercy.