Welcome to the deadliest ï¬ghting tournament in the world. Or the outer world. We, the good guys, have to ï¬ght the bad guys. And then we have to ï¬ght each other.
Why do we have to do that?
Shut up, that's why. It's deadly and everyone has tons of super-powers.
Oh, it's popular movie star Johnny Cage, here to wish us luck.
I loved you in National Treasure!
Nope. I'm here to ï¬ght!
See, I decided to enter this deadly tournament between super beings because I want to show everyone I don't use special effects.
is that your ofï¬cial backstory?
Yes. Yes it is. Also, I use special effects. But not much.
Okay, let me spell this out for you: there's a man here who is a reptile ninja. He can spit acid. This acid-spitting-ninja-monster is the worst ï¬ghter here.
I mean, imagine you ï¬ght Goro. What do you do then?
Hit him in the nuts.
This isn't one of your stupid movies. I am a God of thunder. I can shoot lightning! How are you going to ï¬ght me?
I don't know. Uh, maybe, you know, a Hadouken!
Long, long pause.
you did not just
I'll show myself out.