6. Hot Dogs (Fester's Quest)
There were some pretty half-assed power ups in the NES Fester's Quest. The power up for your gun was a block of text that said "GUN." The power up for your whip was a block of text that said "WHIP." I'm guessing the designers were too preoccupied gambling on how many boomerangs they could plug into the ever-multiplying slime creatures before they finally died. Answer: Way too many.
However lame the weapon power ups were, even more bizarre was Fester's insatiable appetite for hot dogs. This is the only option in the game to replenish your health. Why hot dogs? I'd bet my right hand (sorry Thing) that this was never a characteristic of his in any of the Addams Family iterations. Who am I to judge? If processed meats help you defend our home planet from hostile aliens then go nuts, my bald friend.
5. Soft Serve Ice Cream (Duck Tales)
I can appreciate that after a long day of pogo sticking the sh*t out of baddies, you want to sit back, kick off your spats and enjoy a delicious cold treat. So why shouldn't creamed ice give Scrooge McDuck that extra boost he needs to hit boulders with a golf swing?
While there's a certain suspension of disbelief you have to give to video games, I always found it hard to believe that Mrs. Beakley was able to store perfectly formed, un-melted, soft serve cones deep in a humid African mine. Unless she's hiding a mini freezer in her giant bosom. And everyone knows that the only one in Duckburg with the capabilities of carrying around that much advanced technology is Gizmo.
Sorry Mrs. Beakley, I'm not buying it. To the absurdity of that power up I say, "blathering blatherskite!"
4. Large Black Bass (Resident Evil 4)
It's no wonder that giant fish in the lake was trying to swallow you; you spent a whole 10 minutes plucking his innocent cousins out of the water with your pistol only to cram them into your attache case to nosh on later. Shoveling down this gasping, slimy bass will refill your entire health bar in the Resident Evil world. Why? We'll never really know. And to this day it's left Albert Wesker cursing the meat of the sea.
Who would have plugged Leon Kennedy as a sushi connoisseur? After consuming all those herbs, I guess it's understandable why he'd suddenly get hit by a massive case of the munchies. But a giant uncooked fish with scales and fins and guts? I'd rather eat a typewriter ribbon.
I would have loved Ada Wong to call Leon out, "Is that a giant sea bass in your attache case or are you happy to see me?"