6. Edward Chris von Muir (Final Fantasy IV)


There are three lessons RPG developers can learn from a character like Edward:1. Bards are NEVER cool.2. A harp is not a weapon.3. "Sing" is not a valuable combat skill for a person who has to fight giant flying eyeball monsters.

The only real redeeming quality Edward has is his ability to make everyone else in the party seem infinitely cooler than him. In addition to singing songs for your enemies, Prince Edward also has the infuriating ability to "Hide" whenever his HP is low. He also enjoys complaining to the party about his dead girlfriend, which is awkward and somewhat out of place in a game for the Super Nintendo. For the brief period of time that Edward is in your party, you'll wish he was dead. And when he does end up dying over and over again in each and every battle you fight, you'll wish he at least knew a couple Queen covers.

7. Rikku (Final Fantasy X)


An esteemed graduate of the Yuffie Kisaragi School for Hyperactive Teenagers, Rikku's ability to annoy you is augmented vastly by what genre experts refer to as "Shitty Voice Actor Syndrome." Within minutes of introduction, your tolerance for Rikku's overly perky attitude will become even shorter than her ultra-jailbait miniskirt. If Tidus is your boring friend with a bad haircut, Rikku is his lame girlfriend that doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. It's actually hard to believe that she and Yuna are cousins, since the only thing they have in common is their inability to have more than one character trait. And while Rikku may have helped defeat Sin at the end of the game, she's also partly responsible for one of the biggest sins in gaming history: Final Fantasy X-2.

8. Vaan (Final Fantasy XII)

For those who might not have played it, Final Fantasy XII is essentially a rip-off of Star Wars with some rabbit-eared women thrown in for good measure (read: Japanese ear fetishists). Vaan is the eager, young Luke Skywalker clone who gets caught up in saving a princess and eventually taking down an empire with the help of a smooth talking pilot. The main difference, however, is that while Luke eventually becomes a badass psychic with a robot hand and laser sword, Vaan stays EXACTLY THE SAME. Not since Chrono has there been a more transparent main character in an RPG, but Chrono hung out with a robot and a talking frog, so I'll let him off the hook. That being said, the name "Vaan" totally sounds like something George Lucas would have come up with.

9. Eiko Carol (Final Fantasy IX)


Little girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. Good videogame characters are not. In fact, I'd say there's very little room for a hyper, bow-wearing lass in a tactical, science-fantasy role-playing game. With any luck, Eiko will calm down and become less annoying with age. You know, when the survivor's guilt from being one of the last two Summoners of Madain Sari starts to set in.