Napoleon Bonaparte

Pros: Napoleon gets points for being the only possible leader who could serve as a tactician and as comic relief. If a tiny yelling Frenchman in a feathery hat doesn't lighten the zombie apocalypse mood, nothing will. Plus his Oddjob stature may come in handy against zombies expecting delicious brains at zombie-arm height.

Cons: French generals don't have a sterling record against Nazis or zombies. Combining the two doesn't exactly bode well for your team.

Abraham Lincoln

Pros: If Fallout taught us anything, it's that Lincoln had a badass shotgun. If recent publishing trends have taught us anything else, it's that Lincoln was also a vampire hunter. If my history classes have taught me anything, it has yet to be applied in this article.

I also heard Lincoln had a cool hat which, as everyone knows, intimidates zombies to no end.

Cons: He's dangerously bullet-prone, and his tall and lanky figure probably looks delicious to zombies. And in a worst-case scenario, try explaining how you shot Zombie Lincoln: the most honest of all zombies.

Vladamir Putin

Pros: A mixed martial arts champion and notorious badass, Putin can dispatch zombies with a look. Past that, I'm pretty sure he has hellhounds for pets, which takes them out of the equation. Besides, just look at the guy. Yikes.

Cons: Press whatever buttons you want, but Putin doesn't follow orders. He will never recover a teammate. You're just along for the ride.


Pros: Successfully led America out of the Great Depression, which is the, uh, Zombie Apocalypse of economic…Okay, look, I'll be real with you. I know it's a long shot, but if you can just get that wheelchair to an upgrade-machine, I'll bet it turns into a robot powersuit.

Cons: He's not even the best Roosevelt president to hunt zombies. That honor goes to Teddy, who was ruled out in the interest of giving the zombies a fighting chance. Also a problem? Polio.

Sarah Palin

Pros: Any solid team is going to have a woman. And if that woman has an almost suspicious fire-arm proficiency and can survive the arctic wasteland of Alaska (and the Zombie-bears) then she merits joining the team.

Cons: None. If you're going to die anyway, you might as well make her your president and see if two different apocalypses can cancel each other out.