Lt., what the hell happened out there? I'm getting reports of massive causalities from all units. I thought we were up against just one man!
Yes, sir. It was a massacre.
What's this I'm hearing about an explosion? I wasn't aware Bond had gained access to our explosives.
He hadn't, sir. Lt. Smith was pursuing the target armed only with proximity mines- just throwing them right at him. Things got ugly when Smith got stuck in a corner. Damn things blew him straight to high hell.
Of all the unbelievable-
Smith had never been to that level before, sir, and those corners are difficult to spot. It wasn't really fair.
But why in God's name was he unarmed?
Sir, if you'll recall, we no longer equip our men before combat. It's much easier to just leave guns and ammo lying around on the battlefield.
How did we lose the others?
Bond retrieved the Golden Gun.
He found the Golden Gun? Did you leave it in a dark corner like I asked?
Very dark, sir.
Damn. There's no way we could have foreseen this. Well, were you at least able to eliminate the target?
Well, sir, I was able to corner Bond once he ran out of ammo. I had him point blank.
He fell to his knees and began to slap me. So I ran.
You ran from an unarmed man?
Yes, sir. It's damn near impossible to hit a man on his knees. And he was slapping me very hard.
Son, I'd like you to forget what you've seen here today. I'm writing you up as mostly harmless and ending this discussion.
Thank you, sir.
Your head is enormous. Get that checked out.