1. Commander

    Lt., what the hell happened out there? I'm getting reports of massive causalities from all units. I thought we were up against just one man!

  2. Lt.

    Yes, sir. It was a massacre.

  3. Commander

    What's this I'm hearing about an explosion? I wasn't aware Bond had gained access to our explosives.

  4. Lt.

    He hadn't, sir. Lt. Smith was pursuing the target armed only with proximity mines- just throwing them right at him. Things got ugly when Smith got stuck in a corner. Damn things blew him straight to high hell.

  5. Commander

    Of all the unbelievable-

  6. Lt.

    Smith had never been to that level before, sir, and those corners are difficult to spot. It wasn't really fair.

  7. Commander

    But why in God's name was he unarmed?

  8. Lt.

    Sir, if you'll recall, we no longer equip our men before combat. It's much easier to just leave guns and ammo lying around on the battlefield.

  9. Commander

    How did we lose the others?

  10. Lt.

    Well, sir… Bond retrieved the Golden Gun.

  11. Commander

    He found the Golden Gun? Did you leave it in a dark corner like I asked?

  12. Lt.

    Yes, sir.

  13. Commander

    How dark?

  14. Lt.

    Very dark, sir.

  15. Commander

    Damn. There's no way we could have foreseen this. Well, were you at least able to eliminate the target?

  16. Lt.

    Well, sir, I was able to corner Bond once he ran out of ammo. I had him point blank.

  17. Commander

    And…?

  18. Lt.

    He fell to his knees and began to slap me. So I ran.

  19. Commander

    You ran from an unarmed man?

  20. Lt.

    Yes, sir. It's damn near impossible to hit a man on his knees. And he was slapping me very hard.

  21. Commander

    Son, I'd like you to forget what you've seen here today. I'm writing you up as mostly harmless and ending this discussion.

  22. Lt.

    Thank you, sir.

  23. Commander

    And, son?

  24. Lt.

    Yes, sir?

  25. Commander

    Your head is enormous. Get that checked out.