1. Sega

    What's the matter with you Xbox?

  2. Xbox

    Oh, hi Sega. I'm just feeling down because Wii has sold like a billion units lately.

  3. Sega

    That goddam Nintendo. Did I ever tell you how I had the first CD drive?

  4. Xbox

    Yes, like a million times.

  5. Sega

    Well, I did and it was marvelous, really revolutionary – it was years ahead of its time.

  6. Xbox

    I'm sure it was. But it just sucks because these days everybody wants to excercise while they play video games.

  7. Sega

    That's a bunch of mularky. Video games weren't meant to be excercise. In my day if kids wanted to excercise they had to turn us off and go outside, and none of this hard drive bullshit – no there weren't even memory cards – they were lucky if we gave them a save code …

  8. Xbox

    Yeah ok, but anyway like I was saying, the real problem is the nunchuk controller. I can't compete with that.

  9. Sega

    Those goddam Jap consoles and their slanty controllers. There's too many damn buttons today as it is.

  10. Xbox

    Uh, didn't the Saturn …

  11. Sega

    The layout allowed for it.

  12. Xbox

    What about Dreamcast…

  13. Sega

    THE LAYOUT ALLOWED FOR IT.

  14. Xbox

    Ok, ok. Take it easy.

  15. Sega

    You know what you need Xbox?

  16. Xbox

    What's that?

  17. Sega

    You need a lovable mascot.

  18. Xbox

    A what?

  19. Sega

    Back in the day anybody who was anybody had a lovable mascot.

  20. Xbox

    Oh, you mean like Mario.

  21. Sega

    NO! HE'S A GODDAM DIRTY WOP! With numbskulls like you running around it's a goddam miracle the Germans haven't come out with a console and started World War 3! I mean like Sonic the Hedgehog you dipshit! Now that was a character you could relate to, at least before he turned and became one of them.

  22. Xbox

    Well, I have this guy Master Chief…

  23. Sega

    Does he jump on his enemies' heads?

  24. Xbox

    Not really.

  25. Sega

    No good.

  26. Xbox

    Ok, well I don't think Playstation has a mascot either so…

  27. Sega

    What happened to that Crash Bandicoot fella?

  28. Xbox

    Who?

  29. Sega

    Nevermind.

  30. Xbox

    Wait here comes Wii.

  31. Wii

    Herro S-Box. Herro Say-ga.

  32. Xbox

    Hello Wii.

  33. Sega

    …

  34. Wii

    Hey Say-ga, Sonic Hezzhog say hi.

  35. Sega

    GO BACK TO JAPAN YOU STUPID FAMICOM!

  36. Wii

    SKLOO YOU SAY-GA! YOU BOO-HOO NO ONE PLAY WITH YOU! YOU OUT OF BUSINESS!

  37. Sega

    YOU'RE DEAD WII! I'll … OWW OWW my cartriage slot, I think I strained my slot.

  38. Xbox

    Take it easy Sega.

  39. Wii

    Yah Say-ga – see you alound … a gallage sale. Bwahaha!

  40. Xbox

    Man, he is such a jerk. A really egregious racial stereotype too.

  41. Sega

    Don't worry Xbox – I'm gonna get you a mascot and we're gonna take that dirty Jap down. I know just who to call …