You shall not pass (time productively)!
Sauron is sending his most fearsome army to destroy the castle: two beach bullies.
Sauron has many spies with many eyes... but only one of them is a bajillion feet tall and on fire.
Picture Lord of the DonutsApril 06, 2014
Picture Gandalf Checks His EmailsMarch 16, 2014
The wi-fi password says "Type friend and enter."