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Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
Last week I went to a hockey game. There was a young girl sitting next to me. She was playing a DS. I noticed that she dropped her stylus, so I picked it up for her. “Here, I think you dropped this,” said I. “Oh, thanks buddy,” said her father. “She’s always losing that thing.” I chuckled and said, “I know how they can be, I have one of my own.” “Yeah. They’re something special all right,” he said. “They sure are,” I said. I think he thought I was talking about daughters. I was talking about my DS.
-G
I have a little Christmas tradition (late I know, shut up). On Christmas Eve, I go into every one of my Pokemon games and send each character home for Christmas to spend it with their mom.
-Anonymous
After realizing how massive the Skyrim world is, I printed out a map and taped it to my wall. I mark off the dungeons as I complete them with a marker. I’m too ashamed to let other people see it, so I keep it hidden under a college banner. I only take it out when my door is closed and locked.
-Nick S
My fiance and I are getting married in April. To get ready for the reception, she’s been having us practice with Dance Central 2.
-James
January 20, 2012
Link Shirt of the Week: Don't Tread On Me
We're more of a Mushroom Republic than a Murshroom Kingdom.
Article The Dorklyst: 7 of the Most Blatant Rip-Offs in Videogame History
Hi everybody! Sophie Prell won’t be joining us today. Instead, allow me to introduce myself in her stead. I am Sofia Bell, video game journalist, humor writer, and just plain good-lookin’ gal on the Internet. My lawyer has advised me to state that, for the record, I have never heard of Sophie Prell, and any similarities between my own writing and hers are purely coincidental. That disclaimer firmly – and totally legally! – out of the way, I thought I’d bring with my introduction a present. Dear Dorkly, I give you seven of the most blatant video game rip-offs of all time!
7. Fighter’s History
Let’s face it, there isn’t a single fighting game in all of history that makes a whole lot of sense, and likewise none that are too original. Fighter A punches Fighter B, both are competing to be top dog in the world’s greatest martial arts tournament, which is secretly run by an evil dictator/corporation/demon/all of the above. Have I just described the plot to your favorite fighting game? Have I just described the plot to all of them?
Well not Fighter’s History! Fighter’s History was different, by god! At least, it was legally ruled to be so when Capcom sued developer Data East over copyright infringement. Why the suit? Oh, no reason. It totally looks like its own game. But hey, you know what Street Fighter never had? A weirdly androgynous Chun-Li. Mmm, just think about what might come from that spinning bird kick.
6. Great Giana Sisters
Let it never be said that early video game developers didn’t believe in the concept of gender equality. Or maybe just a cheap buck. Take a look at this screenshot. Or this one. Even the recent port and upgrade for the DS version barely changes what is clearly a rip off of Super Mario Bros. tripping balls on acid. Goombas now have horns, lobster-ants crawl through lava, and Lovecraftian eyeball-tentacle monsters lie in wait around every corner.
And what in the goddamn is up with that cover? I understand that early games had notoriously bad presentation with their art, but this looks like the artist didn’t know if they were going for a Heavy Metal homage or if they wanted to purposefully confuse every young male gamer’s erection into painful submission. Is this game for children? I don’t know! What’s that dragon doing in the background? No idea! My entire reaction to this game can be summarized as a succinct and elegant, “What is this, I don’t even.”
January 19, 2012
Picture X-Men Meets Community Art
They attend Greendale Community College for Gifted Youngsters.
January 19, 2012
Link IRL Assassin's Creed Arm Blade
What's that? It's the sound of a million nerds screaming in agony as they accidentally cut off their fingers.
Comic Skyrim Hoarders
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