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Ever since Hal 9000 first lit up audiences with that ominous red glow, sinister computers have become one of our favorite go-to enemies. And why wouldn’t they be? They’re mentally & technologically superior, but they lack the gung-ho go-get-em spunky attitude that humans love to think they possess. And it is so gratifying to see filthy humans triumph over their cold, calculating superiors, isn’t it? ISN’T IT, HUMANS!?

Sorry! My valid, authentic human emotions got the better of me. Let’s take a look at the seven most admirable evil computers in videogame history, shall we? //INITIATING DORKLYST PROTOCOL//

WARNING: SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW

7. MAAX (Bill Nye the Science Guy: Stop the Rock!)

We all remember 1996 as the year that brought us the first (and last) Bill Nye the Science Guy video game. Stop the Rock! concerns a giant meteoroid heading towards the Earth, and an AI-enabled meteorite-defense satellite named MAAX. MAAX, possibly taking his cool acronym-name & his ominous synthetic voice as a hint, decides to go rogue, and refuses to save the Earth unless humanity can solve seven science-based riddles.

Come on, MAAX. Riddles? You’re a sinister orbiting intelligence, if you’re going to go rogue, at least go all out. Pepper humanity’s major cities with laserfire, mock their helplessness, live a little. But no, you email them seven chapter review questions from a high school science textbook? Are you under the impression that among a race capable of building a complex AI satellite & launching it into space, there’s not one single person who passed geology class?

Apparently he’s right, because it’s up to Bill Nye and his top-notch team of scientists at Nye Labs to crack this conundrum. Well, not Bill, he’s busy, and FMV sequences were a bitch in 1996. So it’s down to just you, the player. Luckily, you’ve got a giant lab full of 7th-grade science projects to help you save the day. Humanity’s salvation lies where we always expected it: in a warehouse full of static-charged balloons, potato clocks, and baking soda volcanoes.

If you’re a fan of Game of Thrones, you’re undoubtedly familiar with the Stupid Ned Stark meme. Hilarious as it is, the other idiots get off scot-free. Let’s fix that. (WARNING: SPOILERS)