Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
This Valentine's Day, my girlfriend and I hung out in my parents' basement, watched anime and ate Wendy's. It was the best Valentine's Day I've ever had.-Jonathan
The other day I was playing Fallout 3 and came upon a room with an iron. I picked it up, not quite remembering what quest I needed an iron for, but I remembered needing an iron for some reason. After looking through my quest log, I realized it had nothing to do with Fallout and that I needed to iron my pants for work the next day-Brian
Around third grade, my brother and I would go to a weekly Pokemon day at a local park. All the kids would bring their cards and straight battle and trade for hours. Being young and foolish, I traded my rare Kabutops for a lame Chansey I thought was cool. After my brother realized what I had done, he talked some sense into me, pointing out that that Kabutops was my best card and Chansey was awful. I begged him to get my card back. He had to give up his prized Charizard in exchange. I'm a sophomore in high school now and I still have that Kabutops on my desk. I keep it there to remind me how much my brother loves me.-Anonymous
I frequently have to turn cheat when typing papers for class with length requirements. I decrease both the font size and margins, and manipulate the sentence spacing so that it will be short enough.-Anonymous
Winter's here, and that means one thing: snow. Well, snow and Kevin McCallister's annual abandonment by his neglectful, emotionally-abusive parents. Luckily, we all have videogames to entertain us during the horrible weather (fact: 99% of winter deaths occur while not playing videogames). Weirdly though, sometimes the best escape from the frozen tundra of the outside world is the digital frozen tundra of a videogame. Here's our tribute to the 13 greatest snow levels of all-time.
After a few levels of blasting through endless hordes of asteroids, enemy ships, and Slippy's pleas for help, Fortuna was a welcome relief. Finally you could engage in dog fights with some worthy opponents: The lazily-named Star Wolf (since all space teams in this universe are composed of 4 random animals led by some sort of canine). As if Star Wolf relentlessly hunting down your teammates (who all have no idea how to turn around or defend themselves in any way) wasn't enough, there's a bomb that will blow if you don't defeat the enemies in time. Not that it's too big a deal either way, since apparently no one else in the entire universe is at all concerned about that evil monkey head but you.
As anyone who remembers this game will attest, completing this level was a badge of honor. Missile-shooting snowmen? Check. Random holes to fall into? Check. Meteor-tossing rat-dude final boss? So check it isn't even funny. Also not funny this level wasn't even in the original arcade version: They added it at Nintendo's request, so more kids would break their controllers in frustration and have to buy new ones. If you had any less than two busted controllers and no sudden desire for Pizza Hut, you are clearly some sort of robot.
Oh wow! The NBA!
Yup. This is the big time.
Wow. Maybe one day I can be the new Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan. Best basketball player of all time. Ring a bell?
Never heard of him. I think you're thinking of Scottie Pippen.
So, anything I need to know?
Just your typical 2 on 2.
I'm pretty sure that's not how pro basketball works.
And how are your 30-foot high backwards dunks?
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
Show yourself Ares so I can tear you limb from limb!
There you are bro. I've been looking everywhere for you.
Who are you? Is Ares not brave enough to fight me himself?
What? No, I'm Hercules, son of Zeus. I came to help you out.
Leave me, I don't need help from the Gods.
Haha right, and what about all those cool moves Poseidon, Hades, and our dad taught you? Eww, are you carrying around Medusa's head?!