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Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest Swords in Videogame History

January 27, 2011

Swords are not always the best weapon – guns have better distance, bombs do more damage, and I can never tell whether or not to pronounce the 'w.' But swords were always preferable, since they offered a nobler kind of combat: up close and personal, with the winner determined by skill and strength alone. Also, game developers got a lot less angry letters from parents when they didn't include guns, so that helped too. Here's our tribute to the greatest blades ever virtually-wielded…

10. Lilarcor (Baldur's Gate II)

Lilarcor is a special sword – not only does it talk (frequently, and mostly about fighting and its desire to kill as many things as possible and as soon as possible) – but it also has the soul of a man trapped within it. In this regard, Lilarcor is really more of a character than a weapon, although it serves both roles nicely. If only it could be used as a vehicle and house, it would be pretty much the only item you'd ever need.

9. Sora's Keyblade (Kingdom Hearts series)

Maybe it technically isn't a sword (that may have been a little too violent for a Disney game), but the Keyblade in Kingdom Hearts was unique and powerful enough to come pretty close to that definition. It's a giant key (one of those ones you can't make a copy of), wielded like a sword (except without a sharp edge), and it's effective at combining your childhood memories of Disney films with your adolescent memories of gender-confused Final Fantasy characters. Also, the Keyblade could lock or unlock any lock you came across – a magical world for some, a horrifying dystopia for locksmiths.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   swords

Article 9 Albums From Videogame Characters

By Robert Jenner and Henry Alexander / January 26, 2011

Filed Under   left 4 dead   fallout

Article 7 Videogame Bumper Stickers and Decals

By Brian Murphy and Julia Lepetit / January 25, 2011

Filed Under   final fantasy   earthbound

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #35

January 25, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing COD:BO with my ex-girlfriend. When we played I always used to abuse a certain gamer. This was called iAmAsUpR1337 and I was going apesh*t at this guy and it didn't help that he was getting 1 kill every 4 deaths. So this kid goes offline after ten minutes of pure abuse and after the game me and my girlfriend go to sleep . When we arrived at her parents house her younger brother, who is seven, said that he finally got Live and Black Ops. I asked him what his gamertag was and he said IAmAsUpR1337. My girlfriend broke-up with me the same day.-Eli
I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 online and I started making conversation with a guy on my team. I told him I was having a good vacation, and then asked him "are you on Spring Break, too?" to which he replied "everyday is spring break when you're unemployed."-Julien
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Awful Good: Will Ferrell Alignment Chart

January 25, 2011

Filed Under   alignment chart   awful good

Article Rainbow Road

January 24, 2011
  1. Mario

    Alright, so we're racing karts.

  2. Luigi


  3. Mario

    I know just the place. It's this awesome rainbow road.

  4. Luigi

    Oh, psychedelic. And um, distracting?

  5. Mario

    The most distracting. It's also on a literal rainbow.

  6. Luigi

    Wait, like in the sky?

  7. Mario

    No, outer space. So I guess it's a figurative rainbow, now that you mention it. Huh.

  8. Luigi

    That sounds really dangerous.

Article 6 Popular Websites From a Galaxy Far, Far Away

January 24, 2011

Filed Under   star wars

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #60

January 21, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was in 2nd grade and playing Final Fantasy 3. My mom had a friend over, and her son who was in 1st grade. I was so excited to show him how cool FF3 was! I showed him the game and he kept calling Shadow a "stupid farty-pants" and insisted that Shadow kept farting. I couldn't take it. Was he kidding me? Shadow? I decked him right in the face. In an instant, I realized I was going to be in deep shit and tried to bribe him to not tell. He told. My mom was pissed, however my older and cooler 5th grade neighbor thought I was the man.-Ryan

When I went to watch the latest Harry Potter movie with my girlfriend, she cried when Dobby died. I cried when I saw the Green Lantern trailer.-Ty

I once spent 20 minutes on the phone with the Nintendo help line because I couldn't get to the sound test in Kirby 64. I wanted to listen to the "Gourmet Race" theme.-Dan

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Gamebook: 5 Angry Birds Status Updates

January 20, 2011

Filed Under   gamebook   angry birds

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Pieces of Videogame Furniture

January 20, 2011

Filed Under   the weekly irl   mario   star wars