Articles

(Page 92)

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest Swords in Videogame History

January 27, 2011



Swords are not always the best weapon – guns have better distance, bombs do more damage, and I can never tell whether or not to pronounce the 'w.' But swords were always preferable, since they offered a nobler kind of combat: up close and personal, with the winner determined by skill and strength alone. Also, game developers got a lot less angry letters from parents when they didn't include guns, so that helped too. Here's our tribute to the greatest blades ever virtually-wielded…


10. Lilarcor (Baldur's Gate II)



Lilarcor is a special sword – not only does it talk (frequently, and mostly about fighting and its desire to kill as many things as possible and as soon as possible) – but it also has the soul of a man trapped within it. In this regard, Lilarcor is really more of a character than a weapon, although it serves both roles nicely. If only it could be used as a vehicle and house, it would be pretty much the only item you'd ever need.



9. Sora's Keyblade (Kingdom Hearts series)




Maybe it technically isn't a sword (that may have been a little too violent for a Disney game), but the Keyblade in Kingdom Hearts was unique and powerful enough to come pretty close to that definition. It's a giant key (one of those ones you can't make a copy of), wielded like a sword (except without a sharp edge), and it's effective at combining your childhood memories of Disney films with your adolescent memories of gender-confused Final Fantasy characters. Also, the Keyblade could lock or unlock any lock you came across – a magical world for some, a horrifying dystopia for locksmiths.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   swords

Article 9 Albums From Videogame Characters

By Robert Jenner and Henry Alexander / January 26, 2011

Filed Under   left 4 dead   fallout

Article 7 Videogame Bumper Stickers and Decals

By Brian Murphy and Julia Lepetit / January 25, 2011

Filed Under   final fantasy   earthbound

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #35

January 25, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing COD:BO with my ex-girlfriend. When we played I always used to abuse a certain gamer. This was called iAmAsUpR1337 and I was going apesh*t at this guy and it didn't help that he was getting 1 kill every 4 deaths. So this kid goes offline after ten minutes of pure abuse and after the game me and my girlfriend go to sleep . When we arrived at her parents house her younger brother, who is seven, said that he finally got Live and Black Ops. I asked him what his gamertag was and he said IAmAsUpR1337. My girlfriend broke-up with me the same day.-Eli
I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 online and I started making conversation with a guy on my team. I told him I was having a good vacation, and then asked him "are you on Spring Break, too?" to which he replied "everyday is spring break when you're unemployed."-Julien
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Awful Good: Will Ferrell Alignment Chart

January 25, 2011

Filed Under   alignment chart   awful good

Article Rainbow Road

January 24, 2011
  1. Mario

    Alright, so we're racing karts.

  2. Luigi

    Woo!

  3. Mario

    I know just the place. It's this awesome rainbow road.

  4. Luigi

    Oh, psychedelic. And um, distracting?

  5. Mario

    The most distracting. It's also on a literal rainbow.

  6. Luigi

    Wait, like in the sky?

  7. Mario

    No, outer space. So I guess it's a figurative rainbow, now that you mention it. Huh.

  8. Luigi

    That sounds really dangerous.

Article 6 Popular Websites From a Galaxy Far, Far Away

January 24, 2011



Filed Under   star wars

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #60

January 21, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was in 2nd grade and playing Final Fantasy 3. My mom had a friend over, and her son who was in 1st grade. I was so excited to show him how cool FF3 was! I showed him the game and he kept calling Shadow a "stupid farty-pants" and insisted that Shadow kept farting. I couldn't take it. Was he kidding me? Shadow? I decked him right in the face. In an instant, I realized I was going to be in deep shit and tried to bribe him to not tell. He told. My mom was pissed, however my older and cooler 5th grade neighbor thought I was the man.-Ryan

When I went to watch the latest Harry Potter movie with my girlfriend, she cried when Dobby died. I cried when I saw the Green Lantern trailer.-Ty

I once spent 20 minutes on the phone with the Nintendo help line because I couldn't get to the sound test in Kirby 64. I wanted to listen to the "Gourmet Race" theme.-Dan

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Gamebook: 5 Angry Birds Status Updates

January 20, 2011

Filed Under   gamebook   angry birds

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Pieces of Videogame Furniture

January 20, 2011

Filed Under   the weekly irl   mario   star wars