Articles

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Article 5 Superhero Games That Took Away the Superpowers

By Miklós Takács / March 7, 2014

  5 Superhero Games That Took Away the Superpowers

It makes sense for developers to be drawn to making superhero games - there's a built in audience, the entire world and scenario is set up for you already, and there's a bunch of cool powers to play around with...which, actually, is also the problem. With so many superheroes being given powers of invincibility and impossibly crazy super strength, it makes designing a challenging game pretty, uh, challengingThe right way to do things would be to not betray the character and find a way to create an interesting game with their powers in tact. Or you could always take the easy way and just remove whatever inconvenient abilities are getting in your way.

Which is, naturally, the way most developers went for. These are 5 superhero games that did away with some pretty important superpowers.

 

1. Dragon Ball Z: Sagas - The Z-Fighters Can't Fly

5 Games That Used Popular Heroes In Incredibly Uncharacteristic Ways

The Source Material: The Z-Fighters are exceptional martial artists, and among the most powerful beings in the universe. They can use their energy - their ki - to shield their bodies from attacks, shoot energy projectiles, move so fast it looks like they teleport (except for Goku, who can actually teleport) and fly around with incredible speed.

The Game: Powerful warriors? Check. Energy beams and Kamehameha? Check. Super Saiyan? Check. So what's wrong? The Z-Fighters simply can't fly during actual gameplay. They are shown flying during cutscenes, and the levels start with the heroes landing at the beginning of the stage from the air, but the most you can hope for while in control is jumping and hovering around in the air, but only as high as your character can jump. I know what you're thinking. No problem, right? Z-Fighters have legs as powerful as nukes, they can jump pretty high. Not in this game, unfortunately. Their jumps are so pathetic Chunky Kong from Donkey Kong 64 would be embarrassed by them.

But it's no problem as long as the gameplay doesn't demand it, right? Well, there are coins in the game you can pick up on the stages that you can spend on making your ultimate warrior (not to be confused with The Ultimate Warrior) even more powerful. But some of them are placed so high that you simply can't jump up that far from the ground. You have to find platforms like hills to jump from, hover to the coin and pick them up. That's right. Height is a problem in a game based on Dragon Ball Z. The true challenge should be triumphing over foes like Frieza and Cell, not picking up collectibles out of your reach.

Filed Under   hulk   dragonball z   superheroes   the flash   powers

Article There's Going to Be a Sequel To Shaq Fu

By Andrew Bridgman / via IndieGogo / March 6, 2014

 Theres Going to Be a Sequel To Shaq Fu

All you Shaq Fu fanatics out there (The Shaq Fu-natics, as they like to be called) - it's time to rejoice. The maker of Shaq Fu, Shaquille O'Neal, has launched an IndieGogo campaign to fund a semi-sequel / remake titled Shaq Fu: A Legend Reborn.

Theres Going to Be a Sequel To Shaq Fu

Filed Under   shaq   shaq fu   indiegogo

Article Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Videogame Villains of All-Time

By Andrew Bridgman / March 6, 2014

Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Videogame Villains of AllTime

After over 850,000 votes of the most twisted and evil villains in videogame history, you - THE VOTER (aka NOT THE WRITER OF THIS ARTICLE) - have decided the top 20 virtual bad guys ever. Don't agree with the results (which, again, are not the choices of me, the guy writing this)? Sound off below about why YOUR favorite evil clown was unfairly ranked!

 

20. Dysentery (The Oregon Trail)

  best villains

There are many deadly enemies in the original edutainment hit, Oregon Trail: river fordings, meager rations, Mrs. Henderson making you leave the computer lab - but none come close to the danger of dysentery. Really, there's not much you can do to avoid dysentery other than sleep and eat a lot - and it could still strike even then. It's random and unavoidable and can wipe out members of your party like it's nothing. At least with river crossings, you have the CHOICE whether or not you want to ford it (and guarantee losing one of your travel pals). Dysentery is cruel and unstoppable - murderous and unfeeling...

Kind of like "you" when you see a buffalo during a hunt. C'mon dude - you've already hit 400 lbs. this round, you KNOW you can't carry any more back.

Filed Under   villains   results

Article Flowchart: Should You Confront That Guy Who Is Texting In Your Movie Theater?

By Tony Wilson / March 5, 2014
Flowchart: Should You Confront

Filed Under   movies   flowchart   texting

Article Lovable Me: A Minion Love Story

By Andrew Bridgman / March 5, 2014

I'll never forget when we first met - at the nightly mandatory screening of Despicable Me. It was love at first sight. I wasted no time in telling you I loved you.

  Lovable Me: A Minion Love Story

via xianghua4kilik

 

I got down on one knee, about the height of your average Minion, and asked you if you would be the Female Minion to my Male Minion.

Lovable Me: A Minion Love Story

via Paul Pape

Filed Under   love   despicable me

Article 3 Times South Park Didn't Even Understand What They Were Parodying

By Andrew Bridgman / March 4, 2014

South Park has been well-known for over a decade for satirizing pop culture in its own unique and pointed way - but there have been at least a couple times when they miss the mark. Not too surprising, given each episode is produced in about 6 days. Still, they hit so often that when they miss, it stands out. Here's a few times that it wasn't even clear whether they were familiar with the thing they were making fun of.

 

1. 'Game of Thrones' Nudity

  3 Times South Park Didnt Even Understand What They Were Parodying

Over the course of three episodes ("Black Friday" / "A Song of Ass and Fire" / "Titties and Dragons"), South Park took on Game of Thrones, through the lens of the Console War between Xbox and Playstation. And throughout the whole thing, there were constant references to the nudity in Game of Thrones - but not the female nudity, but the male nudity ("Wieners" specifically).

 

 

The thing is - Game of Thrones is sorta renowned for having wildly disproportionate amount of female nudity compared to male nudity. The only wieners seen on the show belong to Hodor (and...not in much of a sexual way), Theon (at one point sexual, then later...less sexual), the guy who tried to poison Daenerys (extremely non-sexual), and one of Craster's sons (VERY EXTREMELY NON-SEXUAL). Whereas the show constantly inundates you with all variety of female nudity and almost always in a sexual manner.

Filed Under   movies   south park

Article Police Reports From 'Twitch Plays Pokemon'

By Ryan Creamer / March 4, 2014
Police Reports From Twitch Plays Pokemon

Filed Under   police   pokemon   twitch plays pokemon

Article This Guy's Business Card Is A Working Tetris Game

By Andrew Bridgman / via Arduboy / March 4, 2014

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If you're not living the life of an excess-driven Manhattanite sociopath like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, there's a chance that business cards just don't grab you in the same way it does people who are really into listening to Huey Lewis while chopping up Oscar-winners.

Enter technical designer Kevin Bates - whose business card is a FUNCTIONING TETRIS GAME.

Article The Internet vs. FALCON PUNCH!

By Staff / March 3, 2014

 

FALCON PUNCH

via Imgur / Youtube

 

 

FALCON PUNCH

via Imgur

Filed Under   smash bros   falcon punch   captain falcon

Article Pwn Up: Risky Business

By Jake Young / March 3, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Risky Business

 

Back in the day, my friends and I were obsessed with "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater" for the N64.  Despite my amazing skills at high-scoring combos and hidden tape discovery, I am massively uncoordinated when it comes to anything with wheels, especially skateboards.  Fast forward to my freshman year of college.  There's a cute girl in my area that I have a huge crush on, and I can tell that she likes me back.  She just so happens to confide in me one day that she thinks guys on skateboards are hot.  So, instead of doing the logical thing and inviting her to my place for dinner, I ask my best friend, an avid skater, to teach me how to skate.

 

Two weeks later, a few of us (Cute Girl included) are all skating together when we come by a massive hill on our campus.  Despite having made zero progress on my skating abilities, I look at Cute Girl and immediately flash back to playing Tony Hawk, and think, "What would TH do?  How easy would it be to take this hill and impress the hell out of her?" So I attempted the hill.

 

Long story short, I ended up with a mass of cuts, bruises, and my collarbone broken into three pieces.  It took two surgeries, three years, and a small metal refinery of surgical plates and screws to fix.  Cute Girl stayed with me in the hospital.  I asked her out under the influence of morphine.

 

Three months later, we broke up.

 

Damn you, Tony Hawk.

 

-'Not-A-Skater'

 

 

Filed Under   pwn my life   romance   pwn up   skateboards