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Back in the day, my friends and I were obsessed with "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater" for the N64. Despite my amazing skills at high-scoring combos and hidden tape discovery, I am massively uncoordinated when it comes to anything with wheels, especially skateboards. Fast forward to my freshman year of college. There's a cute girl in my area that I have a huge crush on, and I can tell that she likes me back. She just so happens to confide in me one day that she thinks guys on skateboards are hot. So, instead of doing the logical thing and inviting her to my place for dinner, I ask my best friend, an avid skater, to teach me how to skate.
Two weeks later, a few of us (Cute Girl included) are all skating together when we come by a massive hill on our campus. Despite having made zero progress on my skating abilities, I look at Cute Girl and immediately flash back to playing Tony Hawk, and think, "What would TH do? How easy would it be to take this hill and impress the hell out of her?" So I attempted the hill.
Long story short, I ended up with a mass of cuts, bruises, and my collarbone broken into three pieces. It took two surgeries, three years, and a small metal refinery of surgical plates and screws to fix. Cute Girl stayed with me in the hospital. I asked her out under the influence of morphine.
Three months later, we broke up.
Damn you, Tony Hawk.