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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #39

March 1, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I had just joined a game of Black Ops on X-box and the first thing I hear is this little kid saying, "No Calvin you can't come inside, you just rolled around in sh*t!" To this day I don't know if he was talking to his younger brother or dog, but this conversation went on for the rest of the match. Me and my friends could not stop laughing.-Mark
I typically choose not to talk much on COD BlackOps unless I'm playing with people from my friend's list.  I was rolling hardcore CTF solo one day and was teamed up with a party of 5.  I'm guessing they were around 18-21 years old.  They were good teammates and were calling out the opposition for the first half of the match.  As we were switching sides a guy on my team started acting like a radio DJ.  He was actually making some fairly funny comments and everyone on my team stopped talking and was just listening to him.  He went on for a few more minutes when I took my TurtleBeach's off mute and said "I would like to make a request.  Can you play TLC, No Scrubs." He paused for about 10 seconds and then says (in a perfect Radio DJ voice) "We just got a request in so going out to GaveURmomCrabs (my gamertag) we have No Scrubs by TLC" then he played the song over his headset and everyone on my team just sat there listening to the entire song for the rest of the match.  I don't know if I was more impressed with his ability to keep his composure or his ability to play "No Scrubs" within 10 seconds of me making the request. -GaveURmomCrabs
Once I was playing Halo Reach and breaking this guy for being terrible. I made a 'your mom' joke and he says "Well, my parents are dead. How does that make you feel?" Like 5 seconds later all you hear is "MIKEY! YOUR SANDWICH IS READY!" then you hear "MIKEY, YOUR 22 AND HAVE NO JOB. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET A GIRLFRIEND AND MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE?" -Wynntai
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Awful Good: Final Fantasy VII Alignment Chart

February 28, 2011

Filed Under   final fantasy   awful good

Article Sonic Loves Nicknames

February 28, 2011
  1. Sonic

    Well, Mister…

  2. Tails

    Prower. Miles Prower.

  3. Sonic

    Mister Prower, I'll review your information and let you know if you're my new sidekick.

  4. Tails

    Thank you very much.

  5. Tails stands up to shake hands.

  6. Sonic

    Whoa, you've got two tails?

Filed Under   conversations   sonic

Article 6 Rejected Characters From Marvel vs. Capcom 3

February 25, 2011


Filed Under   marvel vs. capcom

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #65

February 25, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I am a huge fan of the MGS series. I don't own a PS3. When my friend offered me the chance to play MGS4 at his house, I was excited. He neglected to tell me his mom and step-dad were getting a divorce. For 16 hours, I played through crying, yelling, arguing and just general awkwardness until I finally beat it. It was worth it.-M

My roommates and I started what we call our annual Zeldoff. We set up three TVs with three N64s and three copies of Ocarina of Time in our living room. Then we race to see who can play through the game the fastest.-Tay

I just read every issue of Pwn My Life. I got frustrated and jealous any time anyone mentioned that they had a girlfriend.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Gamebook: 5 Left 4 Dead Status Updates

February 24, 2011
Filed Under   left 4 dead   gamebook

Article The Weekly IRL: Hittin' The Streets (8 Pictures)

February 24, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article The Dorklyst: The 7 Cheapest Moves in Videogame History

February 23, 2011



Some people say, "if it's in the game, then it's fair." These people are jerks. Disregarding manners or sportsmanship, they take what should be an enjoyable game and turn it into a never-ending source of frustration. Here's our tribute to the seven cheapest moves you can pull.


7.



Multiplayer games often require a degree of stealth, which is sometimes difficult when your opponents are literally in the same room as you. Imagine lining up a target in your sniper crosshairs when he suddenly has a psychic premonition and dives behind cover. Or having the entire enemy team throw you a surprise bullet party because they knew the location of that burnt-out jeep you happened to be looking at. Screen-peekers might as well be taking the game out of the system and stomping on it. Imagine if Nazis had been able to stare through the eyes of our boys back in WWII to deduce their location? We'd all be gaming in lederhosen right now. Do you like wearing comfortable pants? Yes? THEN WHY ARE YOU STARING AT MY SCREEN!?


6.



Rushing is one of the most frustrating strategies out there. Popular in RTS games, the objective of "rushing" is to throw everything at your opponent right away, killing them with your pathetic low-level minions before they can build a defense. The obvious pro-rush argument is that both players could easily exploit the same strategy. But what's the point of an RTS game that's decided in the first 5 minutes? We buy these game to fill up the social lives we don't have. Slow down, man, the popular kids will still be partying in two hours, and they probably won't notice you staring longingly in through their window anyway. Spawn a few more zerglings and stay a while.

Article Zealots Need Work

February 23, 2011
  1. Zealot

    Alright, let's do it! For Auir!

  2. Stalker

    Yeah, let's-wait, are those swords?

  3. Zealot

    Beam swords! Yeah!

  4. Stalker

    Back up. Aren't we super advanced aliens?

  5. Zealot

    Yup.

  6. Stalker

    Why do we have sword?. Even the humans have guns. Not swords. Guns. You'd think we'd get that figured out by now…

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article 7 Tips on Proper Nerd Etiquette

February 22, 2011
Filed Under   nerds