Great news, Tails! I just got off the phone with Sega: they're offering a three-game deal!
Wow, this is incredible. We're going to be famous!
Yup, and get this: They're naming the game "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"
Wow! wait, what?
Man, I'm going to be rolling in rings when this thing blows up
No wait, hold on, Sonic. Why did they name the game after you?
Because I'm the main character. I'm a hedgehog with lightning speed and a bad attitude.
It's just have you seen hedgehogs? They're not very cool. They kind of just sit there.
Yeah, but how many hedgehogs have a sick blue mowhawk?
Article Sonic The Hedgehog: OriginsSeptember 22, 2010
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #18September 21, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
So me and a bunch of my friends were playing Gears of War 2 on the weekend for the 25 times XP weekend. We hosted a game of Social Guardian and all of these random people started joining instantly. We played throughout the whole game and we destroyed the other team every round. At the end of the game one of the guys on there team started whining about how "it took two COG soldiers to take down one locust soldier". After he said that the room went quite and I said "you should be use to having two guys double team you" everyone in the room started laughing and the whole entire Locust team quit right after that.-Justin
I was playingÂ HaloÂ reach with one of my friends on Xbox live and we got to a part where a warthog was optional. We really don't like the vehicles much so we decided not to use it. I proceeded to destroy the warthog and my friend asked me why. I replied, "So the covenant don't use it." He continued by stating from his immense halo knowledge (all from halopedia might I say) that the covenant would never be caught dead in a warthog. Needless to say a warthog with 2 elites, one at the wheel the other at the turret come barreling around the corner and splatter my friend. I then heard his girlfriend say over the mic, "Wow you got owned, maybe I should be sleeping with your friend instead."-Arman
Article Honest ESRB RatingsSeptember 21, 2010
Article Pwn My Life: Issue #29September 16, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
I started playing Magic: the Gathering to quit smoking cigarettes. Every time I have the urge to buy cigarettes, I buy a booster pack instead. It's working.-Karl
My girlfriend and I's six month anniversary was the same day that Halo Reach came out. I acted progressively sicker leading up to it, so it'd be more believable when I told her I'd have to stay home on our anniversary.-Sam
I'm currently deciding between learning Klingon or Quenya (LOTR's elvish). I'll probably learn them both, but I can't decide which one to learn first.-Lenin
While working in the Home Depot garden department, a woman with a thick accent asked me where she could find squirrel killer. Her accent was so thick that I heard Squirtle killer. I sent her to electrical.-Zak
In honor of Halo Reach's release this week, Dorkly would like to take this time to recognize excellence in Halo viral videos. From in-game stunts, to pranks and gamer freakouts, Master Chief has provided the Internet with hours of quality entertainment. Without further ado, here's our tribute to the titans of teabagging.
People like this are the reason the mute function was invented. Well, them and racist, pre-pubescent rich kids. As annoying as he may be, you almost have to respect his dedication to the game. You know someone really wants to win if they're willing to waste their time and voice shouting directions at total strangers regardless of whether or not they're even listening. Not to mention the amount of money he has to spend to support his lifestyle. Xbox Live is about $45 a yearand that's not even including the cost of replacement microphones and throat lozenges.
You've gotten a double kill before, but did you bat a manned tank into an enemy space marine using only a hammer? Didn't think so. This guy is about as cool as an Xbox Live player can get. And as an Xbox Live player myself, I can safely say .that the bar is actually set pretty low. Sigh.
Many people don't realize that the whole sub-prime mortgage crisis-or-other has impacted not just our RL friends, but our videogame friends as well. But no need to worry! Simply buff them with some knowledge of these five important factors, and their quest for a new home might not need to be so epic after all.
5. Security: In these crazy worlds of evil spirits, crafty assassins and rogue macho space marines, security has to remain a priority when looking for a new home. While a fake wall that may deceive a four-year-old may seem like it's good enough, you might want to spare a few extra rupees to hire some security henchmen or at least get a super to fill in those cracks.
4. Neighborhood: Now just because you lost your castle on a hill or towering fortress doesn't mean you have to settle for the slums. Bad neighborhoods attract the thieves, crossdressers and those stoner Koopa kids. Picking a good neighborhood on the other hand, will result in trusty Italian plumbers busting their ass for you and more fruit for your green pet androgynous dinosaurs than you know what to do with.