Articles

1. Hero

   Whew! That was a close one…so much blood

2. Townsfolk

   Welcome to Yorkcast!

3. Hero

   Yeah…This is a pretty nice town you got here.

4. Townsfolk

   Yup! We have weapon shops, potion shops, and a place for you to heal. That's it, though.

5. Hero

   And that sustains your economy?

6. Townsfolk

   I guess.

7. Hero

   Really nice place. You guys don't have a monster problem?

8. Townsfolk

   Nope. No monsters here.

9. Hero

   Because, outside, it's like, every five steps is some kind of giant, terrible monster. They're everywhere. I'm surprised you even exist.

10. Townsfolk

    Well, we have a fence.

11. Hero

    Of course. I was wasting all my time with swords and fire-spells. I should have gone with plywood.

12. Townsfolk

    I guess. We also called it a "safety-zone". That seemed to work pretty well.

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

So me and my friend were playing COD4 and on the mic all we could hear is this really loud and annoying screaming. So we asked what it was. This was our answer: "Oh yeah, sorry guys that's my 3 year old daughter, one sec…… SHUT THE F@#K UP!!!!" The screaming stopped.
-Colin

Kid: I'm coming! I'm coming!" I assume he was talking to his mom.
Me: That's what she said.
The game erupts in laughter.
Kid: I don't get it.
Room erupts in more laughter.
Me: You will learn about it in college.
-Matt

I got online on CODMOD 2, and said, "Hey everyone," and was met with the usual chorus of, "A GIRL?!" Then some 9 year old decided to be extremely original and say, "Bitch, make me a sammich!" So I retorted with, "I already did. It's sitting on your kitchen table." He left for a second, and when he came back, he said, terrified, "Oh my god there was really a sandwich there." I said, "I know, I made it." He immediately left.
-Madison

On the Fourth of July, America celebrates the Founding Fathers declaring independence from Great Britain. But let us also celebrate the videogame freedom fighters who risked their extra lives to stand up to evil corporations, governments, mad scientists, and pixelized armies. We nerds salute you.

15. The Chosen One (Fallout 2)

The Chosen One began life as a tribal nobody trying to end a drought. But his belief in every man's right to freedom, regardless of radiation levels and/or mutation, eventually lead him to freeing the West Coast (or what remained of it) from the Enclave. All he had to do was murder the President of the Enclave (don't worry – he was evil. Millard Fillmore-evil) and blow up an oil rig (an evil oil rig. Deepwater Horizon-evil). And with that, the people of the post-apocalyptic land no longer had to live in fear of the evil government – just super mutants, radiation, starvation, dehydration, disease, raiders, slavers, radscorpions, poison, gangsters, thieves, ghouls, rats, and deathclaws. That's called "progress."

14. Abe (Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee)

Abe had the unfortunate role of having to save his fellow Mudokon slaves from the ruthless, horrible-factory-designing Molluck and RuptureFarms. Unfortunately the Mudokons, while good-natured and hard-working, were completely unable to understand that walking into an electric forcefield would probably not end well. This alone should stand as a testament to Abe's dedication to freedom. That, and not having his mindless brethren turned into food products. Something we can all relate to.

Do you have an awesome gaming set-up or system mod? Send a picture to dorklymod at gmail.

Have a submission for next week's issue? Send pictures to weeklyirl at gmail. Next Issue: Videogame Street Art.

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet?
Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Tattoo picture submitted by Marc.

I dislocated my kneecap and tore my meniscus playing MLB 2K9 on the Wii. When I told everyone how I got my injury, they mocked me, saying I broke my knee playing Wii baseball. It irked me that they didn't call it MLB 2K9 like I had said.
-Frank

I was dating this girl for about two years in high school when she broke up with me. It was almost out of nowhere and she started dating some random guy she met a month before right after. Now at the time I had been playing Final Fantasy 9, and I had named the lead female character, Dagger, after her, Ashley. When we broke up, I used a re-name card and changed the name from Ashley to Slut and took her out of my main party. I'm almost embarrassed to admit how much better that made me feel. Almost.
-Lilian

I took a week off work for the death of Batman.
-Karl

I asked my boyfriend to marry me by getting down on one knee and putting a Nintendo Power Glove on his hand.
-Suela

1. Trainer 1

   Hey, whatsup?

2. Trainer 2

   Not much. Just chilling.

3. Trainer 1

   Cool, cool. Yeah, that makes sense. It's a beautiful day to stand in one spot staring forward and approach anyone who passes by.

4. Trainer 2

   Exactly. But want to know something weird?

5. Trainer 1

   Yeah. That's literally point of asking "what is up".

6. Trainer 2

   Some other guy challenged me to have my pet fight his pet.

7. Trainer 1

   What!?

8. Trainer 2

   Yeah, it was weird. He yelled at a mouse to shoot lightning.

9. Trainer 1

   That's messed up-

10. Trainer 2

    And it did! And he made me pay him!

11. Trainer 1

    What did you do?

12. Trainer 2

    I made a pithy punning comment about him defeating me.

13. Trainer 1

    Makes sense.

14. Trainer 2

    And get this; he had badges.

15. Trainer 1

    Like a boy-scout?

16. Trainer 2

    Exactly. And he said he had to "catch them all"