Article 10 Console Pick-up LinesOctober 29, 2010
Article Pwn My Life: Issue #41October 28, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
Back in 1997 I was in 7th grade and president of the Star Trek club at school. Then the Star Wars special edition was released and I founded the Star Wars club. I was and still am huge fans of both Star Wars and Star Trek. After that, people started making fun of me for loving Star Trek. Following three weeks of torment, I began seeing a therapist. I ended up having an emotional breakdown in his office. It wasn't because I was being made fun of at school. It was because I couldn't decide what I liked more: Wars or Trek.-Nate
There has not been a single moral or otherwise challenging decision I've made since finishing Dragonball and Dragonball Z where I didn't ask myself, "What would Goku do?"-Jonathan
When I was 12, I wrote to Marvel because I thought I found a flaw in a Fantastic Four comic and wanted a "No Prize," which is an empty envelope rewarded to people who find continuity flaws. I told them not to publish my address at the end of the letter. Not only did they publish my letter, dig in to me for being wrong, and include my address, they must have thought I was a loser who needed someone to write to, so they also signed me up for their pen-pal program.-Anonymous
When I was little my parents gave my N64 to my cousin and got me a PS2. I recently learned that my aunt THREW OUT Ocarina Of Time and gave the N64 to my cousin's friend, who broke it in two weeks. When I found out, I tied up my cousin and made him listen to the Battletoads pause music for two hours.-Jessica
Long before the Internet fell in love with them, zombies have been a fixture in videogames. And though they all fall under the general zombie game umbrella, the games themselves couldn't be more different. From the silly "Braiiiins"-chanting zombies to the ones who wipe out entire cities, here's our tribute to the virtual undead.
10. House of the Dead
Like my own House of the Dead arcade cabinet.
9. Plants vs. Zombies
Article Smash Bros. Isn't FairOctober 27, 2010
Okay, everyone ready?
- Captain Falcon
Let's do this.
Wait, wait, hold up. This is a-absurd!
Stutter or accent?
A-screw you. You have a sword!
Oh, this? Yeah, but don't worry. I'm not very good.
How can you not be good? You have a sword!
All I can do is punch people!
- Captain Falcon
Oh, me too.
- Captain Falcon
Except a giant falcon made of fire hits them and it's totally lethal. Those kind of punches.
And-also, we're fighting a mouse and a kid! How can I hit a kid?
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #23October 26, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
Apparently, I am not the only choir kid who plays on live. During a game of Halo 3, which was being particularly laggy that day, I began singing "A tribute to John Williams" during one of the bouts of lag. I was surprised to hear my song continued on by another player, perfectly matching my pitch andÂ rhythm.-Simon
After winning a match of slayer on Halo Reach, one of my teammates says "Good Game" just as the scores post and the loading screen starts. I then proceed to say "Yeah it was great" at the same time a guy on our team yells "how do my nuts taste!?" All my team heard was me saying "Great" as a response. By the way I'm a girl.-Linda
I was playing Halo Reach and at one point one of my teammates yelled "EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!" and left the game.-Caspar
Playing MW2 one night and my one buddy was having a conversation with his dad and forgot to mute his mic when we hear him say "I wouldn't come downstairs later, I'll probably be laying here in the chair playing video games naked". Â -Nick B.
My friend has some unnatural obsession with Tails.Â So bad he went out and bought a plushie of him. So one day we were playing Red Dead Redemption.Â Me and a few friends remembered there were foxes in Red Dead Redemption.Â So we went hunting with our Tails loving companion.Â Needless to say we killed many foxes and teabagged them yelling at our poor friend "this is what you really do to Tails."Â He started crying and left the game and party.My friend is 28.-Simon
Article StarCraft SurgeryOctober 25, 2010
Ahh, I got cut deep bro.
Hang in there! We'll get you patched up quick.
Did you bring a Medic?
Even better, a Medivac.
Talk to me.
Is that new? Are they going to do the surgery in the ship?
Nope, they do it from the air.
What?! How does that even work?
We use a complicated system of lasers to cut and suture you up, but I pretty much just point and shoot.
From hundreds of feet in the air?! What about painkillers? Do you have anesthetics?
Nah, just more lasers. Hold still.