Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #13August 17, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
In Halo 3 a little kid askedÂ my friendÂ how he had a flaming head, something Bungie allowed all its HaloÂ 3 players to use during Bungie Day. He told him he had to go through the hardest level on the hardest difficulty with all the kills turned on, then jump off a ledge at the end that led to a platform added that day. He then told him it usually takes several tries and if you die you have to start the level over. He came back four hours later asking for help, we laughed and then muted him.
"Did you guys know that World War II was based off the movie Saving Private Ryan?"
When playing MW2, this guy asked why my name was so long then proceeded to try to say it. He failed miserably. Some people corrected him and they said it just fine. I told him it's because I don't have trouble reading. The team erupted in laughter.
1. Excessive Blocking
Why It Sucks When Other People Do It: You have to beat everyone in this room before you're allowed to leave. The first 49 minions of the Dark Bad Power Guy were slain without too much effort, but then this asshole shows up. And blocks. And blocks. Sometime he doesn't NOT block unless you hit him in the back. Too bad he never turns around.
A gimmick like this can turn what should be a simple enemy into a nigh-insurmountable challenge. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you have 6 nigh-insurmountable challenges surrounding you, all of a sudden Easy Mode starts looking pretty prime.
Why YOU Have To Do It: Part of the fun of platformers is your remarkable prowess. You can take out a room full of enemies if you do it right.
Problem is, just because you can kick copious amounts of ass doesn't mean you can put up with a lot of damage. Hitting a common opponent a dozen times isn't that odd at all, but getting hit a dozen times is always bad news. If you don't block, you die. Plain and simple.
Have a submission for next week's issue? Send pictures to weeklyirl at gmail. Next Issue: Post-it Art.
Article Pwn My Life: Issue #20August 12, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
My girlfriend is pregnant. One day she found me looking through baby names on the computer. She got excited and said she was proud of me for being so mature. I was actually looking for a name for my PokÃ©mon Silver character.
Back in high school, I spent over 40 hours making a Vincent Valentine costume. I learned to sew specifically for that end. I went to school wearing it for Halloween, only to get mad at everyone for telling me they liked my "Freddy Krueger" costume.
I mowed my lawn to the Persona 4 soundtrack today. There is no better feeling than finishing the lawn right when the seven-minute long final boss music (The Genesis) reaches the last few minutes and turns into the orchestral version of the regular battle music (Reach Out to the Truth).
-Taquin (I have no idea what any of this means, but it sounds pretty damn nerdy -Kevin)
I've only cried two times in my life. Once at the end of Titanic when Jack dies, and once during the Pokemon episode where Ash releases Pikachu to live with a herd of Pikachus after seeing how happy he is with them.
Cutscenes: Argument w/ Significant Other
Most of the time you'd rather just skip ahead and get to the good stuff, but arguments can be an important part of a relationship and help it progress. Unfortunately, a lot of fights end up being way too long and can lose your attention. But be weary: Spacing out and randomly saying "Yes" can help you get through it faster, but you might agree to something you didn't mean to. Now you're at a whole different stage of your relationship with no idea how you got there.Â
Level Ups: Birthdays
There's nothing more exciting than getting a level up, and any kid's tenth birthday party is just as exciting. Enough birthdays and you'll unlock new skills like driving, voting, and buying porn. Plus you'll get all kinds of cool alcoholic power-ups to give to anyone who joins your party. The downside is that once you progress to a certain point, birthdays become repetitive and depressing. It can start to seem like an eternity between each one, and when nothing cool happens, you just end up disappointed.
Article Zerg RevolutionAugust 11, 2010
Alright, we're in good shape here. We just need a few more Hydralisks
Hold on! We can't! Spawn more Overlords!
Yeah. We can't do anything without them.
Yeah, what would we do without those slow, slow, sacks of flesh?
Hey man, we require them.
Well we require more Hydralisks. You know, the useful things.
You could always sacrifice a drone to make space.
That's not a winning strategy.
Look I didn't make the rules. But we need Overlords.
We're a bloodthirsty monster race. I think it's a little late to think about middle management.
Hey, take it up with the queens.
That's another thing! The queens are worthless. No one spawns her if they want to win! These managers are incompetent