Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #15August 31, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
I was playing a free roam match on Red Dead Redemption with a few friends of mine and we were attacking this other posse at Fort Mercer. We went around the back of the fort and wrecked the only kid guarding that side. He then without thinking said "Gosh I've got 3 guys on me back here." I replied without missing a beat "You should be used to that". The room erupted into laughter, even his own teammates. The kid left without saying a word.
During a free-for-all match in MW2 some little kid got tired of everyone killing him while he was trying to snipe he says "THAT'S IT, I'M GOING COMMANDO!" After that some random older dude proceeds to say "Oh yeah, does the mean you're going to be naked?" Then when the match finally ends and we all see the killcam (which was a quick no-scope in the air) the little kid says, "THAT WAS SO EPIC THAT IT MADE MY NUTS DROP!"
I was playing Search and Destroy on MW2 when I heard a really whiny-voiced kid start complaining about campers. I asked him how old he is and he told me was in the second grade. I asked him what a penis is and he told me it was like a hot dog but smaller and it doesn't taste as good.
Long flights can be hell. Uncomfortable, terrible food, and even when you land you are so out of it you feel like crap. So imagine if you fight the battle of your life against E. Honda in Tokyo, and as soon as his body hits the floor you have to get on a plane and fight Ken in New York. That's like a 20-hour flight with super powered fights on each end. You would feel so awful you wouldn't even be able to stand up.
2. Passport Issues
Whenever you go to a new country, you need your papers in order. Passport, immigration slips, customs declarations, etc. These are just a few of the hoops you have to jump through with international travel. When you are boarding the plane at the airport, they are going to ask you state your business in the country you are traveling to. Something tells us that "I'm traveling to Thailand to fight a 7 foot tall guy with an eyepatch" won't fly with the TSA people.
Sonic and The Simpsons ruled the early 90's, and with good reason: Both were outstanding in their genres and featured title characters that became fixtures in pop culture. Unfortunately, neither franchise knows when to quit and has been milked to the point of almost destroying their legacies. Now Sonic's half werewolf and Moe is judging American Idol. WHY.
Take a successful game or TV show with a loyal fan base, pick the fan's favorite character, and give him his own spin-off a recipe for success! Or total failure. Dirge of Cerberus, a spin-off of the critical darling Final Fantasy VII, was released to mixed reviews. Joey, a spin-off of the long-running Friends, lasted only two seasons. With Friends and Final Fantasy followers as fanatical as they are, it's actually pretty impressive that both could be released to such lukewarm reception. So good for them! I guess?
Article Pwn My Life: Issue #24August 26, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
I can and do chug an entire can of Diet Coke during most load screens.
I was 15 when I got a Sega Dreamcast. It was the best console I have ever had. Not because of the graphics, not because of the 3D Sonic game, and not because of the memory cards with the little screen on them, but because it was capable of going online. It was the perfect way to look at porn without my parents finding out.
When I was 11, I was playing Pokemon Red and realized I had to poop. I was in the Safari zone at the time. I went into the bathroom and when I started I came across a Kangaskhan. Through some sort of crapping magic I managed to catch it and was filled with joy, when all of a sudden my batteries ran out before I could save the game. That was the first time I ever cried on the toilet.
I cried when I got hacked on WoW. I'm an adult.
I'm the co-founder of my high school Rubik's Cube Club.
When I was younger, I was very reluctant to read. My mother tried and tried to teach me, but all I wanted to do was play video games. One day she decided that she wasn't going to read any game guide, or text within the game for me anymore. From that day forward, I forced myself to learn to read.
Article Resident ObstructionAugust 25, 2010
Looks like we need to walk down this alleyway Sh*t, it's blocked. There has to be a way around it.
But it's just an abandoned car and some trashcans, I'm sure we can climb over
Dammit Claire! We don't have time! I found this letter that says there is a key hidden in the cemetery that will unlock the red door where we can find parts to the fire hydrant so we can put out the fire blocking city hall.
But seriously, this pile is made out of cardboard boxes. I guarantee that I can slip between those stacks.
It's too high to climb!
It's literally four feet high, and there's a ladder leaning against that wall.
Oh. I guess I didn't see that before.
You didn't see the twelve-foot ladder right in front of your face, but you were going to search a graveyard, at night, infested with zombies, to find a tiny key?
Well I guess when you put it like