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Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

A random conversation between two people who did not know each other on Halo Reach:
Xbox live player 1: Hey didn't you T-bag me earlier today?
Xbox live player 2: I don't know.
Xbox live player 1: Do you T-bag a lot?
Xbox live player 2: I did T-bag a guy in Spire.
Xbox live player 1: Yup, that was me.
Xbox live player 2: Oh……. sorry dude.
-Steve S.

"Have you ever masturbated with buttered popcorn?"
-Bryan B. playing team deathmatch in MW2

Playing Red Dead Redemption the other day I got embroiled in a massive land grab in Armadillo.  A few of the guys in my posse had Southern accents, and the rest of us had, normal-ish voices (not Southern). Suddenly the posse leader pipes up with "Y'know I like y'all. You talk like British people but, I like you cause you're not British."  WTF?
-Michael R.

I was playing Modern Warfare 2 the other day and this guy was getting yelled at by what I assume was his girlfriend or wife.  Finally he said, "I had told you if you slammed the door one more time I was gunna smack that sandwich right out your hand.  Didn't I say that?"
-Justin

1. Producer

   Alright, we're ready for this, a new Sonic and Tails game-

2. Tails

   Wait, Sonic and Tails? Like, Sonic first?

3. Producer

   Yup. You're a great sidekick kid.

4. Tails

   Oh, okay. I don't know, I just figured, you know, I was in charge.

5. Producer

   You?

6. Tails

   Yeah. You know, a flying fox. That's pretty bad ass.

7. Producer

   Well, yeah, but-

8. Tails

   Also I'm immortal. Every time I die I fly back in like, what, five seconds? That's awesome!

9. Producer

   I don't think you get it. Sonic is really fast.

10. Tails

    We're aware I am equally fast, right? I can spin-dash too. Oh, and hey, I also, fly. That's pretty cool. So maybe I should be first…

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Back in 1997 I was in 7th grade and president of the Star Trek club at school. Then the Star Wars special edition was released and I founded the Star Wars club. I was and still am huge fans of both Star Wars and Star Trek. After that, people started making fun of me for loving Star Trek. Following three weeks of torment, I began seeing a therapist. I ended up having an emotional breakdown in his office. It wasn't because I was being made fun of at school. It was because I couldn't decide what I liked more: Wars or Trek.
-Nate

There has not been a single moral or otherwise challenging decision I've made since finishing Dragonball and Dragonball Z where I didn't ask myself, "What would Goku do?"
-Jonathan

When I was 12, I wrote to Marvel because I thought I found a flaw in a Fantastic Four comic and wanted a "No Prize," which is an empty envelope rewarded to people who find continuity flaws. I told them not to publish my address at the end of the letter. Not only did they publish my letter, dig in to me for being wrong, and include my address, they must have thought I was a loser who needed someone to write to, so they also signed me up for their pen-pal program.
-Anonymous

When I was little my parents gave my N64 to my cousin and got me a PS2. I recently learned that my aunt THREW OUT Ocarina Of Time and gave the N64 to my cousin's friend, who broke it in two weeks. When I found out, I tied up my cousin and made him listen to the Battletoads pause music for two hours.
-Jessica

Long before the Internet fell in love with them, zombies have been a fixture in videogames. And though they all fall under the general zombie game umbrella, the games themselves couldn't be more different. From the silly "Braiiiins"-chanting zombies to the ones who wipe out entire cities, here's our tribute to the virtual undead.

10. House of the Dead

There's a lot to be said in favor of the survival horror genre, but sometimes it's fun to just grab your gun and blow away some undead. And for all its mindless fun, House of the Dead actually has some complexity to it: The game re-writes the story based on how well you're playing. Failing to save a civilian from getting thrown off the bridge means you have to go through the sewer instead of the front door. Progressing through the game with a low rating means your fiancee dies. I've spent so many quarters beating the arcade version over and over that I probably should have saved that money for something more important.

Like my own House of the Dead arcade cabinet.

9. Plants vs. Zombies

Not every zombie game has humans fending for their lives and being forced to put an end to their undead loved ones. Some games are more…adorable. Plants vs. Zombies is a tower-defense game featuring (occasionally) disco-dancing zombies battling peashooters, potatomines, and sunflowers among other plants and food stuffs. But don't let the cuteness fool you: Plants vs. Zombies is just as fun for hardcore gamers as it is for casual ones. You might scoff at it at first, but you'll change your tune when an army of flesh-hungry zombies eats through your walnut defense shields.

1. Link

   Okay, everyone ready?

2. Ness

   Yeah.

3. Captain Falcon

   Let's do this.

4. Mario

   Wait, wait, hold up. This is a-absurd!

5. Link

   Stutter or accent?

6. Mario

   A-screw you. You have a sword!

7. Link

   Oh, this? Yeah, but don't worry. I'm not very good.

8. Mario

   How can you not be good? You have a sword!

9. Link

   And bombs.

10. Mario

    All I can do is punch people!

11. Captain Falcon

    Oh, me too.

12. Mario

    See? And-

13. Captain Falcon

    Except a giant falcon made of fire hits them and it's totally lethal. Those kind of punches.

14. Mario

    And-also, we're fighting a mouse and a kid! How can I hit a kid?