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Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One thing my friend does to keep from playing with little kids is state as soon as he is in the game and hears high pitched voices, he 'notifies' everyone that he is a sexual offender with emphasis on children and that he is mandated to notify everyone. He's not, but he is a genius, 'cause it works everytime.
-Tommy

"Baby, if you get in daddy's way again during his Modern Warfare time, I will squish your tiny head and make you retarded."
-Marc

The other day I was playing MW2 and not having a very good round. Some guy comes on the mic and starts yelling at me that I'm bringing the team down and how much better he was (even though his score wasn't much better). Anyway, I figured I'd mess with him so I told him I wasn't doing very well because I was playing on my iPad. The guy proceeded to tell the friends he was with and began asking me how that was possible. Being a computer engineer I made up some fancy jargon to get him to believe I actually was. I never told him I was joking so he may still be looking for a way to do that.
-Andy W.

I was watching my brother play some Forza Motorsport 3, when all of a sudden (he has voice chat set to play through his speakers), someone blurts out "HOLY F*CKING SH*T" and their car just moves forward, decelerating, until it hits a wall. He comes back about 2 minutes later, and just blurts out, "MY F*CKING SOFA WAS JUST ON FIRE"
-Liam

Boss Music is a weekly column dedicated to classic videogame music. Have a game you want featured? Tell us at the Dorkly Facebook page.

1. Professor Oak

   Ah, Red, you're back. Did you study the mating habits of the Wigglytuff?

2. Red

   Professor, we have to talk.

3. Professor Oak

   About the Poke'dex-

4. Red

   What kind of professor are you?

5. Professor Oak

   Excuse me?

6. Red

   You know that level five poke'mon are really, really low, right?

7. Professor Oak

   Well-

8. Red

   And three of them is not a lot of Poke'mon for a world famous professor to have. At first I was like, "oh, wow, a Poke'mon!". It turns out there are lots and lots of Poke'mon.

9. Professor Oak

   Yeah, well-

10. Red

    What, you never saw a Rattata? They're everywhere. Level eights. Here, I got you twelve.

11. Professor Oak

    Why, the Poke'dex must have helped-

Have a game you want to see in a Gamebook? Let us know at the Dorkly Facebook page!

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My University's wireless network won't allow the downloading of WoW patches, so once a week my roommate and I download the patch in the parking lot of a Days Inn.
-Jason

I buy videogame soundtracks on CD. Not just games with epic scores, mind you, but games like Mario Kart 64.
-AK

I bought a copy of Halo 3 as soon as it came out, two months before I could afford to buy an Xbox 360.
-Jesse

I had just gotten Netflix for the first time and was streaming The Super Mario Super Show cartoon from the '80s on my PS3. I was having a great nostalgia trip until I noticed in the opening credits that Mario touches a star and, instead of becoming invincible, he gets fire flower power. I nerd raged for a few minutes until I realized I was alone, watching a children's cartoon from the '80s on a Saturday night.
-Jay R.

1. Elite

   Hierarch! I have returned from battle. I have slain many humans and have brought honor and glory to the Covenant!

2. Hierarch

   Excellent work, my child. I hereby promote you to the rank of General.

3. Elite

   Yessss!

4. Hierarch

   And, as befitting a warrior of your stature, you will be given this glorious golden armor to wear into battle.

5. Elite

   Um.

6. Hierarch

   And this giant golden helmet. And this light-up energy sword.

7. Elite

   Actually…

8. Hierarch

   Next!

9. Elite

   Hang on. Don't we have a camouflage pattern, or-

10. Hierarch

    NEXT!

11. Elite

    Wait, don't you think this is a little showy for a soldier's uniform? It doesn't really blend into the battlefield. Actually, now that I think about it, nothing we own does.

12. Hierarch

    YOU DARE QUESTION YOUR PROPHET?