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Article 10 Insane Game of Thrones Fanfics

By Mark Hill / April 4, 2014

10 Insane Game of Thrones Fanfics

It's no surprise that a franchise as popular as Game of Thrones (or A Song of Ice and Fire, if you're part of the superior book reading breed) has generated its fair share of fanfiction. What may surprise you is just how... creative some fans are. Amidst the countless stories where Daenerys flies her dragons to Westeros, kills all the bad guys and has awesome sex with Robb Stark are tales that will make you question if you were even watching the same TV show as the writer. So if you need some new reading material and don't like having a firm grasp on your sanity, check out... 

 

1. The Bodyguard

 10 Insane Game of Thrones Fanfics

via sashaudinov

"So when that little prick had ordered him to take care of another person that night, Sandor had been furious...

...Because Joffrey had sent him to take care of a singer."

 

Sansa Stark and Sandor Clegane are a common fanfic pairing, because there's nothing more beautiful than the love between a young teenage girl and a violent, alcoholic, emotionally (and physically!) scarred sociopath. The Bodyguard takes their love a ridiculous step further by moving the characters to a modern setting, where Sansa is a pop star and Oscar nominee who's engaged to be married to presidential candidate Joffrey, in what has to be the worst democracy ever. But Sansa slowly falls in love with Joffrey's bodyguard, Sandor, and they eventually consummate their love after surviving a terrorist attack lead by Arya. It's the perfect story for Thrones fans who also wish that they could masturbate to House of Cards. Oh, and good luck watching any more Sansa or Sandor scenes without getting a Whitney Houston song stuck in your head.

Filed Under   sex   wtf   fan fiction   game of thrones   fanfic

Article The Best of Pokemon Evolution GIFs

By Staff / April 3, 2014

Pokemon Evolution GIFs

via Alex Draws 

 

Pokemon Evolution GIFs

via Padnote 

Filed Under   pokemon   evolution   gifs   internerd

Article 7 More Videogame Worlds It Would Seriously Suck To Live In

By Andrew Bridgman / April 2, 2014

1. Civilization

6 More Videogame Worlds It Would Seriously Suck To Live In

Welcome to your new civilization! As a citizen of this new society, you will be ruled by an immortal god-king with complete control over every aspect of your life and the entire civilization. Also, you will be more or less in a state of constant warfare with the rest of the world. Building ANYTHING takes decades upon decades. If you're one of the unfortunate few who's drafted into the war effort, you may very well end up being a spearman or a horseback rider stuck battling a friggin' TANK.

Oh, and you're always in danger of being nuked by Gandhi - or if you happen to live in Gandhi's civilization, always in danger of being retaliation-nuked by EVERYONE ELSE who Gandhi just started  a nuclear war with.

 

2. Sonic the Hedgehog

6 More Videogame Worlds It Would Seriously Suck To Live In

The world of Sonic is generally pretty terrible - everything is divided into insanely-dangerous, completely incongruous 'zones' - from lava-filled ruins to a world of enormous casinos to a place that's just nothing but pollution. And odds are you're going to be a tiny forest critter who's subjected to one of two fates: either being locked in a capsule, waiting desperately for anyone to come by and press a button to release you (hopefully they come fast enough) or getting a sweet robot-body and inevitably having it destroyed by an out-of-control enormous hedgehog whose body is essentially covered in blades. You're nothing but a pawn caught between groups of beings trying to collect super-gems that will give them Dragonball Z knockoff powers.

And while humans DID become part of the Sonic mythos later on (not including Dr. Robotnik, who was bizarrely the only human present for the first couple games in the series), life isn't gonna be much better for you. In fact, there's a pretty good chance you'll be kissing anthropomorphic hedgehogs before you know it. 

Filed Under   the sims   oregon trail   sonic   civilization

Article 7 Lines That Would Have Completely Changed 'Game of Thrones'

By Andrew Bridgman / April 2, 2014

7 Lines That Would Have Completely Changed Game of Thrones

 

7 Lines That Would Have Completely Changed Game of Thrones

Filed Under   game of thrones

Article How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fool's Day Prank

By Andrew Bridgman / April 1, 2014

Entertainment News Site Has a Major Scoop

Batman vs. Superman is actually gonna star Christian Bale as Batman now? Steven Spielberg is taking over the new Star Wars movies and they're going to crossover with the Harry Potter universe? Wow - very subtle with the PRANKS, MOVIE NEWS INTERNET SITES!

How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fools Day Prank

What To Do: Write "NUH-UH - NOT BUYING IT!" in the comments. Add "YOU JUST GOT APRIL SCHOOL'D!!" if you feel your comment warrants it.

 

Friend or Relative Alerts You of a Major Life Event Via Text

Your cousin is getting married? Your best friend just found out she was pregnant? Your dad was hit head-on by a semi-truck and is in the ICU of the local hospital, where your mom is sitting in the waiting room, catatonic from shock and a grief so deep it is completely unknowable?

Could these people BE any more obvious with their pranks? (classic Chandler reference)

How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fools Day Prank

What To Do: Text back "PSSSSSSSSH - APRIL TOOLS DAY IS MORE LIKE IT!" Because they're all a bunch of piss-poor prankin' tools, that is.

Filed Under   pranks   april fools

Article Pretty Much Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Ruined" the Franchise

By Andrew Bridgman / April 1, 2014

  Pretty Much Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined the Franchise

If you've been on the internet lately, odds are a few people were complaining about the latest incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - now brought to you by professional childhood-ruiner Michael Bay. It's your typical fare for a Michael Bay movie (note that he's only producing it) - lots of destruction, military presence, Megan Fox, the words "Michael Bay" appearing on screen sending a shudder down your spine, etc. It looks pretty dumb - but here's the catch: TMNT has ALWAYS been dumb. And dumb in a way that's meant to appeal to whatever generation of kids it's aiming for. This new version isn't ruining your childhood any more than pretty much every single previous version of TMNT. Let's take a look back...

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003)

After a long absence from the world of animation, TMNT returned in 2003. It was an attempt to bridge the gap between the original animated series and the comics that started it all - there were less terrible puns, more attempts at character development, and less goofy slapstick music.

Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Why It "Ruined" TMNT: After a few seasons, the show was completely retooled multiple times - one involving the turtles training to learn a bunch of mystical abilities in order to defeat some alternate version of Shredder, another that sent them 100 years into the future, and another that sent them back to the present day to battle a cybernetic version of Shredder. By the end, it was a mess of unintelligible abandoned plotlines and directionless virtual reality action. Also, the opening song was REALLY bad.



Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation (1997)

Finally - a TMNT show that uses the creepy actors-covered-in-rubber aesthetic of the original films! This was a dream come true for kids everywhere who rushed home after school because organized sports was a terrifying prospect.

Why It "Ruined" TMNT: The big hook for The Next Mutation was the addition of a new turtle character - a sister for the core group, named Venus de Milo. Really, the group could totally stand to have another female voice beyond yellow-jumpsuit wearing reporters. Unfortunately, Venus de Milo looked like this:

  Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Yep. They straight up added turtle boobs, which is extremely creepy-looking. You know what the difference between male turtles and female turtles is? Hint: it's not human-esque shell-breasts (it has to do more with the position of the cloaca and the concavity of the shell). Venus was so poorly received that Peter Laird (co-creator of TMNT) will not allow her to ever be mentioned in TMNT again.

However, in the world of erotic fan art, Peter Laird has no power, and GOOD LUCK searching for TMNT stuff in Google Images without running into some seriously upsetting Venus de Milo pictures.

Article Tumblr and Pokemon Are a Super Effective Combination

By Staff / March 31, 2014

Filed Under   pokemon   tumblr   internerd

Article Behind The Scenes of 'The Walking Dead' Finale

By Andrew Bridgman / March 31, 2014

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  1. Scott Gimple

    ...and at the end of the episode, Rick says "They're fucking with the wrong people." Sound good, everyone?

  2. Another Writer

    Ooooooo....gonnnnnna have to disagree with ya there, Scott.

  3. Scott Gimple

    Which part?

  4. Another Writer

     Using the "F" word. Little too risque, I think.

Filed Under   conversations   the walking dead

Article 8 Things You Didn't Know About Stan Lee

By Staff / March 30, 2014

1. He Is the Single Highest-Grossing Filmmaker In History

  12 Things You Didnt Know About Stan Lee

Since Stan Lee gets an Executive Producer credit on pretty much every Marvel film ever (including ones for characters he didn't create, like Captain America) and Marvel films have made A LOT of money (The Avengers alone is the 3rd highest grossing film ever), Stan Lee movies have made over 11 billion dollars. Take THAT, James Cameron.

 

2. He Made His Comic Book Debut As a Text Filler

  12 Things You Didnt Know About Stan Lee

The comic was 'Captain America Foils the Traitor's Revenge' in Captain America Comics #3 (May 1941). On top of it being Stan's debut, it was ALSO the debut of Cap's signature move - throwing his shield like a frisbee that would bounce back. This was the first time he used the name Stan Lee (his birth name was Stan Lieber).

Filed Under   stan lee   fan art expo   c2e2   c2e2 weekends

Article If Convention-Goers Had 'Game of Thrones' House Sigils

By Staff / March 29, 2014
If ConventionGoers Had Game of Thrones House Sigils