Articles

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Article How Mountain Dew Cheetos Became a Reality

By Andrew Bridgman / January 6, 2014

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Mountain Dew Cheetos is a thing. No, this is not a joke: MOUNTAIN DEW CHEETOS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A THING. How did it come to this, you ask? We've got the transcript right here...

 

  1. Executive 1

    You know what? Fuck it. Mountain Dew Cheetos. BOOM.

  2. Executive 2

    Ha ha, very funny, Jerry. Now back to business -

  3. Executive 1

    No, I'm dead serious. Mountain Dew Cheetos. Cheetos that taste like that radioactive-green, vaguely-citrus slime.

  4. Executive 2

    That's insane, Jerry. We're trying to sell food to people products, not parody them.

  5. Executive 1

    I'm sick of it. Why are we beating around the bush here? These people want powder-y, sodium-packed snacks and a soda that's too fucking lazy to spell "Mountain." Let's save everyone a step and just mash 'em together.

  6. Executive 2

    That's going too far, Jerry. I didn't say anything when we made those Doritos tacos, but I gotta put my foot down here. I mean, what would it even taste like?

  7. Executive 1

    I'll tell you what it'll taste like...

 

Filed Under   conversations   mountain dew   cheetos

Article Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

By Jake Young / January 6, 2014

Last week on Pwn Up we asked for your geeky stories about parties gone wrong. Boy howdy did you folks bring your "A" game to this one. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

 

I was at this kick-ass surprise birthday party for a friend in highschool. The Birthday Boy came home only to discover that his house had become a giant game of hide-and-seek and he had to find all his buddies, including his long-distance girlfriend who had planned the whole thing. The house was huge and all 15-20 of us were completely concealed. I was hiding in his closet. It was not a bad spot, a little more safe than a parent's bedroom or something. Well the game dragged on, and after Birthday Boy found his girlfriend they snuck upstairs to his bedroom and started getting frisky with each other...

[read on...]

Filed Under   party   pwn my life   costume   pokemon   pwn up   pacific rim

Article 4 Shows You Can Marathon To Fill the Breaking Bad-Sized Hole In Your Heart

By Andrew Bridgman / January 3, 2014

  4 Shows You Can Marathon To Fill the Breaking BadSized Hole In Your Heart

With no Breaking Bad to look forward to in 2014 (although the Better Call Saul spinoff might count), people are looking for another show to give them the same adrenaline rush that only the tragic tale of Walter White could provide. Luckily, we have some recommendations for shows you can watch that can almost fill the Breaking Bad-sized hole in your heart. 

 

1. The Shield

  4 Shows You Can Marathon To Fill the Breaking BadSized Hole In Your Heart

Similarities:

  • Morally-complex anti-hero protagonist with a shaved head who is a destructive force in the lives of everyone close to him

  • Good mix between nail-biting, tension-filled drama and comedy

  • SO MANY GREAT TWISTS

  • Also: DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS

  • Just the closest thing out there to Breaking Bad.

 

Differences:

  • Has a better ending. THAT'S RIGHT, THE ENDING IS BETTER.

  • Main character pretty much starts off in Evil-Walt mode instead of gradually moving there

  • Somehow gets darker than Breaking Bad ever got (and Breaking Bad had child-poisoning) - cats are strangled for no reason, there are brutal sexual assaults, and...the ending. Oh man, the ending.

Filed Under   TV   breaking bad   the shield   the sopranos

Article 30 Incredible Calvin and Hobbes Mashups

By Chloe Cole / January 6, 2014
30 Amazing Calvin and Hobbes Mashups

Article 10 Nerdy Gingerbread Creations

By Chloe Cole / January 2, 2014

Optimus Prime

Nerdiest Gingerbread Creations

Already 100 times better than anything Michael Bay did with Transformers.

Filed Under   gingerbread

Article Everything You Need To Know About Community's Return

By Staff / January 2, 2014

Last year, Community had it's one and only year without creator and showrunner Dan Harmon. Things...did not go well.

Everything You Need To Know About Communitys Return

The already-pretty-low ratings dipped. The episodes were largely considered to be significantly worse in quality and comedic content. Chevy Chase dropped an N-bomb during shooting. It was the first season of Community to come in overbudget. All in all, not good.

 Everything You Need To Know About Communitys Return

Everything You Need To Know About Communitys Return

Everything You Need To Know About Communitys Return

Filed Under   TV   community

Article 4 Other Things Penny Arcade Should Apologize For

By Andrew Bridgman / January 2, 2014

 4 Other Things Penny Arcade Should Apologize For You may have heard that Mike Krahulik (the artist behind the internet's eldest webcomic Penny Arcade and the IRL version of character Gabe) has had a year of offending people over numerous topics - recognition of transgendersthe appropriateness of rape joke merchandise, and other crummy behavior. Yesterday, he put out a blanket apology for his behavior, along with some insight into why he behaves the way he does sometimes, a promise to be better in the future, and an announcement that he plans on removing himself from PAX gradually.

And while this is a positive step in the right direction (we'll see how it actually shakes out), here are 4 more things Penny Arcade should apologize for.

 

1. Mike Krahulik Proposed To His Girlfriend Via Videogame Webcomic

A VERY Special Penny Arcade!

In February of 1997, Mike Krahulik (aka Gabe) proposed to his girlfriend via webcomic. While the words are very sweet and heartfelt and it seems like they have a lovely marriage and life together 14 years later - he proposed to her with a freaking jpeg. A TINY JPEG. WITH COMIC SANS FONT. It's hard to imagine any person on this Earth's dream is to be proposed via a webcomic posting featuring your webcomic alter-ego. Shouldn't he himself (Mike) have been proposing instead of the character Gabe? Pretty much the most romantic thing you should ever do with a webcomic is....Hm. Okay. I just spent 15 minutes thinking and came up blank. Lesson of the day: don't ever try to do a romantic gesture with a webcomic.

 

Filed Under   penny-arcade

Article Satoru Iwata Finally Decides Nintendo's Theme For 2014

By Andrew Bridgman / January 2, 2014
Satoru Iwata Finally Decides Nintendos Theme For 2014

Filed Under   nintendo   luigi   wii u   satoru iwata   year of luigi   2014

Article The Best of 2013: Staff Picks

By Staff / January 1, 2014

   The Best of 2013: Staff Picks

 

We did a lot of things in 2013 - maybe you've seen the top 30 comics (#30 - #21 / #20 - #11 / #10 - #1) or the top 20 articles (#20 - #11 / #10 - #1)? But there were a lot of things we did that didn't reach a huge amount of popularity, and so we thought we'd list them out here and give some insight into them. These are our 2013 staff picks!

Filed Under   best of 2013   staff picks

Article Toplist Results: The 25 Greatest Videogames of 2013

By Staff / December 31, 2013

Toplist Results: The 25 Greatest Videogames of 2013

 

After nearly 1 million votes, you (the internet) have decided the 25 best games of 2013. And here they are (along with a few vaguely appropriate haikus):

 

 25. The Wolf Among Us

Toplist Results: The 25 Greatest Videogames of 2013

Super weird and loose

adaptation of Teen Wolf.

Still pretty good, though.

 

 

24. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Toplist Results: The 25 Greatest Videogames of 2013

Bang bang bang slice pew!

Bang bang zap pew pew slice bang!

Stealth games can suck it.