Articles

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Article Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

By Andrew Bridgman / January 13, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we look at your greatest nerdy victories. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 

  Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

 

When my brother was twelve, I was seven. For my seventh b-day, my uncle gave me a PS2 and a copy of FFX.

As in all the families, my brother played and I watched. He beat the game several times - but he never did three things: Complete a Blitzball League, beat any of the dark eons, and pass 9999 of damage, which he accomplished only with Auron. 

This year I was in England for two and a half months with some of my parents' friends. 
Their son had a PS2 with a FFX. I resisted only 2 days - then I passed literally 4 days gathering the astral weapons and the emblems. 
Then, dead Zanarkand, something between 2 am and 8 pm of July,18. 
Auron, Tidus and Yuna.
Yuna>Summon Yojimbo
Yojimbo>Give him 1 gil because cannon-meat for Dark Bahamut's turbo
>Zanmato
 
Immediately dialed my brother's number. 
"Marco, how are you doing?"
"I killed that asshole."
"Who?"
"Dark Bahamut."
We both cried and laughed until my host family made me hang up
 
-Marco

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Best Archer Cosplay On the Internet

By Chloe Cole / January 13, 2014

Season 5 of Archer premieres this Monday at 10 pm. Before you all sploosh yourselves, check out these awesome Archer cosplays.

 

Best Archer Cosplay

Filed Under   cosplay   TV   the weekly irl   archer

Article 4 Theories Of What Diglett Really Looks Like Underground

By Chloe Cole / January 10, 2014

4 Theories Of What Diglett Really Looks Like Underground

Since the dawn of man (or since Pokemon Red & Blue was released, either way), we have looked to the stars and wondered one question: what the heck is going on with the lower part of Diglett and Dugtrio's body? Like, we can see the part that sticks out of the  ground, but not the bottom part. Luckily, artists across the internet have put up hypothesis after hypothesis to explain the greatest mystery of our time:

Filed Under   pokemon   dugtrio   diglett   theories

Article The Most Upsetting Shrek and Shadow Fan Art On the Internet

By Chloe Cole / January 10, 2014
The Most Upsetting Shrek and Shadow Fan Art

Filed Under   sonic   shadow   shrek

Article Toplist Results: The 25 Most Anticipated Games of 2014

By Staff / January 9, 2014
Toplist Results: The 25 Most Anticipated Games of 2014

Filed Under   results   2014

Article Everything You Need To Know About Tonight's Community (Season 5, Episode 3)

By Andrew Bridgman / January 9, 2014

Everything You Need To Know About Tonights Community Season 5, Episode 3

This episode is titled "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics."

Intergluteal meaning "between buttocks" and numismatics meaning "currency, primarily coins". And, uh, basic meaning..."basic". So basically (see what I did there?) - Coins Between Butt-Cheeks.

Everything You Need To Know About Tonights Community Season 5, Episode 3

...and they delivered.

Filed Under   community

Article The 6 HOTTEST Sideboob Shots (of the NES)!

By Andrew Bridgman / January 8, 2014
The 6 HOTTEST Sideboob Shots of the NES

Filed Under   nes   sideboob

Article 5 Crazy Fan Theories That Make Total Sense

By Andrew Bridgman / January 8, 2014

 5 Crazy Fan Theories That Make Total Sense

 

1. Vault Boy Isn't Giving a Thumbs Up - He's Checking Whether Or Not He's About To Die

5 Crazy Fan Theories That Make Total Sense

Source: Reddit

The chipper, cheery mascot of the Fallout series has always been Vault Boy, the blonde-haired, bright-smiled lad giving a big thumbs up and a delightful wink, in stark contrast to the horrible post-nuclear war dystopian future the game plops you in. But WHY exactly is he giving you a thumbs up? And is there an explanation for what he's doing that makes more sense than a jokey contrast between retro-optimism vs. current misery? As you can probably tell from the tone of the article so far, there totally is.

Article Fire and Grass: 20 Pieces of Pokemon Paraphernalia

By Jake Young / January 7, 2014

Grass and Fire: 20 Pieces of Pokemon Smoking Paraphernalia  

Apropos of nothing, here's a list of grass-type moves that sound like marijuana strains:

  • Cotton Guard
  • Forest's Curse
  • Stun Spore
  • Worry Seed
  • Magical Leaf
  • Frenzy Plant
  • Energy Ball
  • Aromatherapy 

 

Filed Under   drugs   pikachu   wtf   pokemon   crafts   pipes   bongs

Article Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

By Andrew Bridgman / January 7, 2014

   Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

Gone Home has been the subject of much debate over the past few months - many arguing that it isn't a game at all, that it's too short, etc. So we decided to sit down and play it - here are the three main criticisms we had about this game:

 

1. Not Enough Gun Variety!
 
2. Spent Like An Hour Searching For Mana Restoration Potions!
 
3. Not Enough Enemies!

 

Should you buy Gone Home? Personally, I would advise you to wait for a map pack DLC to be released - right now, there's only a single small map included, and there was no one else on the server. Very frustrating. A glitch in my game also removed all the guns and samurai swords apparently, so I was basically defenseless. Out of boredom, I just kinda wandered around and picked through whatever letters and cassettes I could find lying around while looking for mana restoration potions so I could cast lightning spells (had difficulty finding the magicka menu, still haven't located it actually).

Filed Under   dorkly review   gone home