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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #10

July 28, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

During a Halo 3 session with my buddies we had gotten the mythic map packs before it was released for the USA. These group of 7-12 year-olds were begging us how you get them. We told them if you join recent players custom games and SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN you will receive the map packs from us. We got a party of around 10 of these kids. We join some random kids game and out of nowhere the recent player is freaking out because there is 10 little kids screaming their asses off!!-Danceder0961
"I put up with so much crap from my ex-wife. When she asked if her boyfriend could move in with us, that's when I'd had it."-Tim R.
Me and my friend were playing CoD MW2, and some kid with the gamertag "CalibratedLemur" was annoying everyone, yelling "GET SOME!" after every kill and generally being an ass. Then, about halfway through the game we hear: "Hey, CalibratedLemur. That rhymes with lubricated wiener, which is what you want, in your FACE." This followed with a weak "Nuh uh…", and then LubricatedWiener shut up. I think someone's due for a new gamertag.-Sam W.
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article An Infested Terran Joins Facebook

July 27, 2010
Filed Under   facebook   starcraft

Article Terran Blues

July 27, 2010
  1. Marine

    Alright, here we go!

  2. Command Center

    Good luck, marine.

  3. Marine

    Yeah! These other marines don't know what they're up against.

  4. Command Center

    Ooh…about that…

  5. Marine

    What? Do they have Firebats? Vultures? We have some too, so-

  6. Command Center

    We're fighting alien monsters.

  7. Marine


  8. Command Center

    An evil swarming hive-mind of monsters. They hatch from eggs. A lot of them shoot spikes or acid, or something. I figured someone would have told you.

  9. Marine

    Wow, uh, nope. They never mentioned the horrible, horrible monsters. In fact, they barely mentioned me being a marine. I'm an astronaut. That's why I'm in freaking space.

  10. Command Center

    Yeah, you should have thought about that before you accepted those 50 minerals, science boy.

  11. Marine

    Okay, so space monsters. Wow. I guess we, we can out smart them, right?

  12. Command Center

    Well in theory. They tend to just rush and kill things. And there's also a race of alien robot geniuses. We have to fight them too.

  13. Marine

    Can't we work with them?

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article Videogame Yellow Pages

July 26, 2010
Filed Under   zelda   team fortress 2   mario   yellow pages

Article Origin Story: Paperboy

July 26, 2010
  1. Atari headquarters, 1983. A group of bored game designers sit around a table.

  2. Carl

    All right, guys, I know it's been a slow day, but let's finish on a high note, okay? We just need to come up with something that kids will find fun. We were all kids once. What did you guys think was fun when you were kids? How about you, Jonathan?

  3. Jonathan

    Hmm… I had a paper route for a while. That was pretty good.

  4. Carl

    Okay, good. What sort of stuff did you do?

  5. Jonathan

    Let's see… I delivered papers. That was important.

  6. Dave

    Sure. What else?

  7. Jonathan

    Well, I delivered the papers while riding a bike.

  8. Russell

    Okay! Bike riding! Now we're getting somewhere!

  9. Jonathan

    I don't know. The whole biking around thing wasn't really that fun. I remember having to spend a lot mental energy just avoiding obstacles. Lots of fire hydrants and lawnmowers and bees. Also a lot of breakdancers for some reason.

  10. Dave

    Hmm. Maybe we should focus on the act of delivering the papers. You had to throw the papers at the houses, right?

  11. Jonathan

    Oh, yeah.

  12. Dave

    And throwing stuff's pretty fun, right?

Filed Under   conversations   nes   paperboy

Article 10 Consoles and Their Human Equivalents

July 23, 2010

Filed Under   Sega   nintendo   xbox

Article The Mod Squad: Issue #7

July 23, 2010

Do you have an awesome gaming set-up or system mod? Send a picture to dorklymod at gmail.

Filed Under   the mod squad

Article The Skate 3 City Planner Gets Fired

July 22, 2010
Filed Under   skateboarding   skate 3

Article The Weekly IRL: Gamer Wedding Cakes

July 22, 2010

Have a submission for next week's issue? Send pictures to weeklyirl at gmail. Next Issue: Animals Playing Videogames.

Filed Under   cake   the weekly irl

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #14

July 22, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I keep a paused DS next to me to play during load screens on console and PC games. Nerdy, yes, but I bet you just thought, "why didn't I ever think of that?"-Michael

I was checking out stuff on Dorkly when I saw a picture of a gamer wedding cake. The bride was dragging the groom away from a gaming session. My first thought wasn't how cool the cake was. It was, "How the hell is he playing Gears of War on a PS3?"-Dan K.

One of my goals in life is to get published by the Black Library, the people responsible for publishing Warhammer fiction.-Seth

I call my portable hard drive "The Death Star Plans," because they're not in the main computer.-Amber

When I suffered a stroke, I had my brother make one call for me. I had him tell the Dungeon Master that I wasn't likely to make it to D&D that weekend.-Juwl

Filed Under   pwn my life