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Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I had no ride home from work one night. Instead of walking or calling someone, I went back inside and played The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass on my DS. For 15 hours. Until it was time to start my shift for the next day.-Ty

I went on a date with a girl I met on a dating site. She seemed geeky and cool, so I was honest when she asked what my pet peeve was. I said "Pi." She misunderstood. She thought I was talking about the dessert. I explained that we treat Pi like it's a rational number when it's an irrational number and thus shouldn't be used for practical calculations, and that it's bull crap anyway, because you can draw a circle with an evenly measured circumference, so using non-terminating, non-repeating Pi as part of a calculation is faulty. She didn't say anything for the rest of the date. -Jack

I punched my dad in the face for trying to make me stop playing FFVII in the middle of fighting Sephiroth.-Tom

My friend and I called the Nintendo help line to find out how to unlock the car race mini-game mode in Mario Party 5. They didn't know. We were furious.-Josh

I tugged it to the Danger Girl videogame more times then I can count.-David

Behind every great hero is a sidekick – Batman had Robin, Simon had Garfunkel, Steven Seagal had his ponytail. But for every loyal sidekick with impressive skillsets, there's a worthless blob of pixels that's only purpose is dying and screaming. Here's our tribute to the sidekicks who picked up the slack and made life easier, and the ones who made life a 64-bit hell.

#1:

BEST: Tails (Sonic Series)

When Tails hit the scene, two-player Sonic no longer meant "you get a turn after I die." Suddenly, you had a way to keep your little brother from throwing a fit and you never had to give up the controller – just let him be the two-tailed fox. Sure, Tails wasn't as fast as Sonic, but he was just an added bonus – killing enemies, coming back to life when he died, and collecting leftover rings (which were always plentiful. Seriously, Green Hill Zone was like a Gollum wet dream come true). And when Sonic 3 rolled around and Tails could airlift Sonic over pits, your little brother finally had an actual purpose other than getting you Dunkaroos between stages.

WORST: Slippy Toad (Star Fox 64)

The Star Fox team was not exactly ideal. There was a past-his-prime rabbit who was all too accepting of his own demise, a dickish falcon who actually insulted you for not letting him die in a fiery explosion, and, worst of all, a pre-pubescent toad who was always on the verge of death and intent on screaming at you to save him. (Also, none of them had opposable thumbs.) Like most terrible sidekicks, Slippy was simply a magnet for enemy attacks, rarely fired back, and had the most annoying voice in the history of annoying videogame voices (sorry, Fran Drescher 64). Sure, you couldn't get the good ending and save the galaxy if you let Slippy die, but at least you could do your barrel rolls in peace.

Things look a little different when you're a nerd…

1. Advisor

   Mr. Mayor — I think we should talk about some of the complaints the citizens have had lately.

2. Mayor

   Like what? Actually, wait one second – I'm gonna summon a monster attack.

3. Advisor

   See – that's exactly what I'm talking about. You need to stop pressing the "Monster" and "Earthquake" buttons. Actually, we should probably have them uninstalled altogether.

4. Mayor

   Listen: I was elected to this office –

5. Advisor

   You created the town and have been running it for over 100 years with no elections.

6. Mayor

   Same difference.

7. Advisor

   Not really. There've also been some questions about your immortality, but we'll get to that later. First off, I think we should consider moving the nuclear power plant away from all the residential zones. Especially because you can't seem to stay away from the "Meltdown" button.

8. Mayor

   Ugh, but if we move it away, it could cost over $90 in extra power lines! How am I supposed to explain that to the community?

9. Advisor

   If we're talking about the budget, we should probably think of giving the fire department more than $0 funding a year. The fire at the airport has been raging for almost six years.

10. Mayor

    Oh sure, then the police department will start asking for more money too!

11. Advisor

    I doubt it, sir. Against the constant begging of the citizens, you still haven't built a single police station or hired any officers. If you'll look at the chart, the areas in red are where crime is the worst…

The Super Nintendo

You never forget your first time. Back then, you didn't care how "edgy" or "cool" a girl was, you just wanted to have fun. Pure, sweet, innocent fun. Sure, she wasn't the hottest girl you'd ever date, but she had personality. Like all first loves, you thought it would last forever, which is why it was such a surprise when you dumped her for…

The Playstation

Look, you were young. It was seventh grade, and she had all the things you loved in your old girlfriend, but with more… depth. Hoping for a nostalgia trip, you looked her up recently. Big mistake — how did someone so devastatingly attractive end up looking so ugly? Maybe you should give SNES a call — I hear she's as cute and fun as ever.

Do you have an awesome gaming set-up or system mod? Send a picture to dorklymod at gmail.