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Article The Weekly IRL: Stormtroopers Having Fun

August 12, 2010

Have a submission for next week's issue? Send pictures to weeklyirl at gmail. Next Issue: Post-it Art.

Filed Under   the weekly irl   stormtroopers   star wars

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #20

August 12, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My girlfriend is pregnant. One day she found me looking through baby names on the computer. She got excited and said she was proud of me for being so mature. I was actually looking for a name for my Pokémon Silver character.-Marcus

Back in high school, I spent over 40 hours making a Vincent Valentine costume. I learned to sew specifically for that end. I went to school wearing it for Halloween, only to get mad at everyone for telling me they liked my "Freddy Krueger" costume.-Kevin

I mowed my lawn to the Persona 4 soundtrack today. There is no better feeling than finishing the lawn right when the seven-minute long final boss music (The Genesis) reaches the last few minutes and turns into the orchestral version of the regular battle music (Reach Out to the Truth).-Taquin (I have no idea what any of this means, but it sounds pretty damn nerdy -Kevin)

I've only cried two times in my life. Once at the end of Titanic when Jack dies, and once during the Pokemon episode where Ash releases Pikachu to live with a herd of Pikachus after seeing how happy he is with them.-Josh

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article 5 Aspects of Videogames and Their Real Life Equivalents

August 11, 2010

Cutscenes: Argument w/ Significant Other

Most of the time you'd rather just skip ahead and get to the good stuff, but arguments can be an important part of a relationship and help it progress. Unfortunately, a lot of fights end up being way too long and can lose your attention. But be weary: Spacing out and randomly saying "Yes" can help you get through it faster, but you might agree to something you didn't mean to. Now you're at a whole different stage of your relationship with no idea how you got there. 

Level Ups: Birthdays

There's nothing more exciting than getting a level up, and any kid's tenth birthday party is just as exciting. Enough birthdays and you'll unlock new skills like driving, voting, and buying porn. Plus you'll get all kinds of cool alcoholic power-ups to give to anyone who joins your party. The downside is that once you progress to a certain point, birthdays become repetitive and depressing. It can start to seem like an eternity between each one, and when nothing cool happens, you just end up disappointed.

Filed Under   irl

Article Zerg Revolution

August 11, 2010
  1. Hydralisk

    Alright, we're in good shape here. We just need a few more Hydralisks…

  2. Zergling

    Hold on! We can't! Spawn more Overlords!

  3. Hydralisk


  4. Zergling

    Yeah. We can't do anything without them.

  5. Hydralisk

    Yeah, what would we do without those slow, slow, sacks of flesh?

  6. Zergling

    Hey man, we require them.

  7. Hydralisk

    Well we require more Hydralisks. You know, the useful things.

  8. Zergling

    You could always sacrifice a drone to make space.

  9. Hydralisk

    That's not a winning strategy.

  10. Zergling

    Look I didn't make the rules. But we need Overlords.

  11. Hydralisks

    We're a bloodthirsty monster race. I think it's a little late to think about middle management.

  12. Zergling

    Hey, take it up with the queens.

  13. Hydralisks

    That's another thing! The queens are worthless. No one spawns her if they want to win! These managers are incompetent…

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #12

August 10, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing a game of Halo 3 Slayer with one of my friends and we could hear another kid on our team talking to his friend in the same room. This kid had to be only like 12 or 13, and we could hear his friend start to scream at him. He then yells back as loud as he possibly can, "I don't care how hot she is, it's HALO time!"-Drew
"I'm gonna tactically insert my M-16 into your ACOG scope"-Kent
So my friend and I were playing MW2 on team deathmatch and we hear these french guys talking. So I say jokingly 'Ugh, f*cking frenchies.' They proceed to dish out what I guess they considered some hardcore smacktalk. Here is just a taste:'You are a f*cking virgin!''Yes, you are a little girl!''You can lick my shoes, virgin.'Good times.-Sean C.

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Not The Answer He Expected

August 9, 2010

Filed Under   bosses

Article Phoenix Doh'd

August 9, 2010
  1. Cloud

    Hey I found Aeris, she's praying up there on that alter.

  2. Barret

    Sh*t, Sephiroth's falling from the sky, and that's a huge ass sword.

  3. Cloud

    OH MY GOD! He just killed her.

  4. Barret

    Don't worry about it.

  5. Cloud


  6. Barret

    Big deal, I've been swallowed whole by monsters and turned to stone like a hundred times.

  7. Cloud

    But she's dead! Gone! And I never had the chance to explain my conflicted emotional love interest!

  8. Barret

    Yo' quit your %$@#'ing crying. I literally have 99 phoenix downs in my bag.

  9. Cloud

    What are you talking about?

  10. Barret

    You're kidding right? Phoenix downs… the ultra cheap feather that brings people back to life.

  11. Cloud

  12. Barret

    Or revive materia, phoenix summon… we can use whatever you want bro.

Filed Under   final fantasy   conversations

Article 8 Star Wars Pickup Lines

August 6, 2010

Filed Under   star wars   pickup lines

Article The Weekly IRL: Weighted Companion Cube

August 5, 2010

Have a submission for next week's issue? Send pictures to weeklyirl at gmail. Next Issue: Stormtroopers Having Fun.

Filed Under   portal   the weekly irl

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #18

August 5, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My alarm clock ringtone is the Final Fantasy VII victory theme. I start every morning feeling like a winner.-Lee

One day, I was over a friend's house and we were cutting up peppers for his parents' restaurant. He got a bit carried away and cut his finger all the way to the bone. Instead of going to the hospital straight away, he got a bunch of tissues and ran to the nearest keyboard to check if it was a finger that he used for any of his WoW hot keys.-Anonymous

My family's only Christmas tradition is to play Golden Eye for N64 on Christmas Eve, all day. -Danny

One time a male friend and I spent a whole evening creating our own teenage mutant ninja turtle. We chose a color, weapons and researched Italian Renaissance artists so we could get an appropriate name. We even made a photoshop picture of the turtle by mucking around with a pic of Donatello. The funny thing was his girlfriend broke up with him over it, because she felt what we did was "too intimate" and he was "obviously cheating" on her.-Saskia

Filed Under   pwn my life