Articles

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Article The Dorklyst: The 15 Most Famous Secrets and Glitches in Videogame History

August 18, 2010


You can only play through the main story of a game so many times, and with each replay, the experience becomes less and less enjoyable. From warp whistles to programming glitches, game secrets can refresh a stale gaming experience. Here's a tribute to our favorite ways to cheat in videogames.

1. Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time: The Biggoron Sword



In Hyrule, the good stuff was hard to get. REALLY hard to get. Even after braving all the temples, Link's Master Sword was only second second fiddle to the Biggoron Sword. To get it, Link had to facilitate the Hyrulian black market between all of the shadiest characters, deal in Odd Mushrooms and Pocket Eggs, wait three days, dodge rolling boulders, and cross the country several times; all for a sword he wasn't even man enough to hold with one hand.

2. Pokemon: Missingno



This was a secret that many attempted, but few carried out to the end. After sailing around on your Lapras for a few hours (in those days, gamers still had attention spans of steel), a jumble of tiny pictures named Missigno would try to fight you. Even better, if you ran away, Missigno rewarded your cowardice by duplicating one of the items in your backpack. If only the mutant fish in the polluted river near my house did the same.

Filed Under   lists   the dorklyst   glitches   secrets

Article Conversations in the Terran Locker Room

August 18, 2010
  1. Marine

    Finally, I can get out of this chicken-sh*t outfit.

  2. Marauder

    Good job waxin' those critters today. Too bad those noob Zealots had to show up and ruin our fun.

  3. Marine

    Yeah, they were all like "honor guide me" and "it shall be done."

  4. Reaper

    More like, "your mom shall be done."

  5. Marine

    Get some! But seriously, I'm amazed they end up reproducing with how ugly the Protoss women are.

  6. Marauder

    Well, at least they aren't as slimy as the Zerg.

  7. Reaper

    I don't know man. Kerrigan is kind of hot.

  8. Marine

    What are you talking about? She's an evil monster.

  9. Reaper

    Yeah, but imagine what she could do with those tentacles, and that outfit!

  10. Marine

    She's the Queen of Blades, those limbs would unfurl your entrails boy, and that outfit is her exoskeleton. Plus I'm pretty sure she is infested bro.

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article Mortal Kombat Characters Invade Other Games

August 17, 2010

Filed Under   mortal kombat   nintendo

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #13

August 17, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing MW2 and this girl gets on and starts talking. First thing she says is "Hey guys, do your girlfriends ever fart and then you walk into it?" After some colorful responses and some sures she says "I told you I wasn't the only one!"-Jared
In Halo 3 a little kid asked my friend how he had a flaming head, something Bungie allowed all its Halo 3 players to use during Bungie Day. He told him he had to go through the hardest level on the hardest difficulty with all the kills turned on, then jump off a ledge at the end that led to a platform added that day. He then told him it usually takes several tries and if you die you have to start the level over. He came back four hours later asking for help, we laughed and then muted him.-Zack G
"Did you guys know that World War II was based off the movie Saving Private Ryan?"-Anonymous
When playing MW2, this guy asked why my name was so long then proceeded to try to say it. He failed miserably. Some people corrected him and they said it just fine. I told him it's because I don't have trouble reading. The team erupted in laughter. -Ricardo T
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article 5 Unfair Moves (You Have To Do To Win)

August 16, 2010

1. Excessive Blocking

Why It Sucks When Other People Do It: You have to beat everyone in this room before you're allowed to leave. The first 49 minions of the Dark Bad Power Guy were slain without too much effort, but then this asshole shows up. And blocks. And blocks. Sometime he doesn't NOT block unless you hit him in the back. Too bad he never turns around.
A gimmick like this can turn what should be a simple enemy into a nigh-insurmountable challenge. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you have 6 nigh-insurmountable challenges surrounding you, all of a sudden Easy Mode starts looking pretty prime.
Why YOU Have To Do It: Part of the fun of platformers is your remarkable prowess. You can take out a room full of enemies if you do it right.
Problem is, just because you can kick copious amounts of ass doesn't mean you can put up with a lot of damage. Hitting a common opponent a dozen times isn't that odd at all, but getting hit a dozen times is always bad news. If you don't block, you die. Plain and simple.
Filed Under   platformers

Article Paperboy is a Terrible Employee

August 16, 2010

Filed Under   paperboy

Article 10 Popular Magazines in the Videogame World

August 13, 2010


Filed Under   magazines

Article 6 Classic Books From the Mushroom Kingdom

August 12, 2010

Filed Under   mario

Article The Weekly IRL: Stormtroopers Having Fun

August 12, 2010

Have a submission for next week's issue? Send pictures to weeklyirl at gmail. Next Issue: Post-it Art.


Filed Under   the weekly irl   stormtroopers   star wars

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #20

August 12, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My girlfriend is pregnant. One day she found me looking through baby names on the computer. She got excited and said she was proud of me for being so mature. I was actually looking for a name for my Pokémon Silver character.-Marcus

Back in high school, I spent over 40 hours making a Vincent Valentine costume. I learned to sew specifically for that end. I went to school wearing it for Halloween, only to get mad at everyone for telling me they liked my "Freddy Krueger" costume.-Kevin

I mowed my lawn to the Persona 4 soundtrack today. There is no better feeling than finishing the lawn right when the seven-minute long final boss music (The Genesis) reaches the last few minutes and turns into the orchestral version of the regular battle music (Reach Out to the Truth).-Taquin (I have no idea what any of this means, but it sounds pretty damn nerdy -Kevin)

I've only cried two times in my life. Once at the end of Titanic when Jack dies, and once during the Pokemon episode where Ash releases Pikachu to live with a herd of Pikachus after seeing how happy he is with them.-Josh

Filed Under   pwn my life