Article 5 Pokemon Facebook UpdatesAugust 19, 2010
Article Pwn My Life: Issue #22August 19, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
It annoyed me that that Dan guy said "Megaball" instead of "Master Ball," and "MewToo" instead of "Mewtwo" in the last issue.-Everyone. Get over it.
A few years ago I decided to start playing Maplestory again, but my friend had taken my account and changed the password. When I contacted the GM's, they refused to give me my password so I wrote to them, "You won't give me my password. I'm so depressed that I cannot go on living. I'm going to kill myself." Never thought much of it, until three weeks later when the cops and an ambulance showed up at my door asking if I was alive or depressed. -Cory
Some guy in the 7-11 parking lot just yelled at me for looking at his girlfriend's chest. I wasn't. I was so upset that 7-11 was out of WWE Slurpee cups that checking out women was the least of my concerns.-Sean
My GF and I decided it would be good to take a step backwards and move out after living together for a while. After living apart for two and half months, we both decided it would be better if I moved back in. We tell people that we have learned how to appreciate one another by living apart. The real reason is that I don't have a computer that runs WoW, and her back up computer works great. She and I decided that living together would be better for our WoW characters.-Jan
You can only play through the main story of a game so many times, and with each replay, the experience becomes less and less enjoyable. From warp whistles to programming glitches, game secrets can refresh a stale gaming experience. Here's a tribute to our favorite ways to cheat in videogames.
1. Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time: The Biggoron Sword
In Hyrule, the good stuff was hard to get. REALLY hard to get. Even after braving all the temples, Link's Master Sword was only second second fiddle to the Biggoron Sword. To get it, Link had to facilitate the Hyrulian black market between all of the shadiest characters, deal in Odd Mushrooms and Pocket Eggs, wait three days, dodge rolling boulders, and cross the country several times; all for a sword he wasn't even man enough to hold with one hand.
2. Pokemon: Missingno
This was a secret that many attempted, but few carried out to the end. After sailing around on your Lapras for a few hours (in those days, gamers still had attention spans of steel), a jumble of tiny pictures named Missigno would try to fight you. Even better, if you ran away, Missigno rewarded your cowardice by duplicating one of the items in your backpack. If only the mutant fish in the polluted river near my house did the same.
Finally, I can get out of this chicken-sh*t outfit.
Good job waxin' those critters today. Too bad those noob Zealots had to show up and ruin our fun.
Yeah, they were all like "honor guide me" and "it shall be done."
More like, "your mom shall be done."
Get some! But seriously, I'm amazed they end up reproducing with how ugly the Protoss women are.
Well, at least they aren't as slimy as the Zerg.
I don't know man. Kerrigan is kind of hot.
What are you talking about? She's an evil monster.
Yeah, but imagine what she could do with those tentacles, and that outfit!
She's the Queen of Blades, those limbs would unfurl your entrails boy, and that outfit is her exoskeleton. Plus I'm pretty sure she is infested bro.
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #13August 17, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
In Halo 3 a little kid askedÂ my friendÂ how he had a flaming head, something Bungie allowed all its HaloÂ 3 players to use during Bungie Day. He told him he had to go through the hardest level on the hardest difficulty with all the kills turned on, then jump off a ledge at the end that led to a platform added that day. He then told him it usually takes several tries and if you die you have to start the level over. He came back four hours later asking for help, we laughed and then muted him.-Zack G
"Did you guys know that World War II was based off the movie Saving Private Ryan?"-Anonymous
When playing MW2, this guy asked why my name was so long then proceeded to try to say it. He failed miserably. Some people corrected him and they said it just fine. I told him it's because I don't have trouble reading. The team erupted in laughter. -Ricardo T
1. Excessive Blocking
A gimmick like this can turn what should be a simple enemy into a nigh-insurmountable challenge. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but when you have 6 nigh-insurmountable challenges surrounding you, all of a sudden Easy Mode starts looking pretty prime.
Why YOU Have To Do It: Part of the fun of platformers is your remarkable prowess. You can take out a room full of enemies if you do it right.
Problem is, just because you can kick copious amounts of ass doesn't mean you can put up with a lot of damage. Hitting a common opponent a dozen times isn't that odd at all, but getting hit a dozen times is always bad news. If you don't block, you die. Plain and simple.