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Article Pwn My Life: Staff Edition #2

September 2, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My first videogame device was a Game Boy my parents bought me for my birthday. The first time I turned it on, I played it every waking moment for three days straight, only taking breaks to swap out the batteries. I had to go to the eye doctor afterwards. -Owen Parsons

I once drew my own Digimon character, and all of its evolutions.-Caldwell Tanner

I still have a scar on my knee from the time I tried a move I saw Gambit do in the X-men Sega Genesis game. -Ben Joseph

My friends and I used to play the Yugioh card game in high school. We even had to hide it from my friend's little sister, and once she found out we made her swear never to tell anyone. So one summer I was up at my grandparents house in Cape Cod bored out of my mind and decided I could make a card of my own by scanning some of my other cards and MS Painting an awesomely, unbeatable mythical beast. I literally spent hours perfecting this badass 3-headed dragon with awesome attack, defense and effects, then printed it out and pasted it on a shittier card (Bubonic Vermin, DUH). When I got back home I attempted to bring it out on the field only to have my friends look it up online and declare it was illegal card that I bought online.-Jeff Rosenberg

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest World of Warcraft Videos on the Internet

September 4, 2010

People like to make jokes at the expense of WoW players, and with all the videos of them smashing monitors and throwing temper tantrums on the Internet, it's not too surprising. Finding the best Warcraft videos on the web is like trying to pick your favorite pizza topping: They're all so damn good that it's hard to narrow it down. But we did our best. Here's our tribute to the greatest freakouts, pranks, and embarrassing moments in Warcraft videos.


There's emerging genre of Internet video featuring girls destroying their boyfriend's gadgets (or in this case, characters) and then recording the fallout. You can actually see this guy go through the first two stages of grief almost immediately: "Hmmm, that's strange. My main character isn't showing up on my server login screen. No worries, it's probably just some kind of load error. I'll just go ahead and log back in…And he's still gone. This has to be some kind of mistake, unless someone deleted my char….AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SMASH. SMASH. SMASH." From denial to unbridled anger in just a few seconds!


The first minute and a half of this video fails to mention Warcraft at all; it's just your run-of-the-mill friendly neighborhood Juggalo threatening an unnamed group of people with a tire iron. And it easily could have ended with that. There's no shame in a time-tested "Threatening The Internet" video. But then it gets better. A lot better. It turns out she's threatening her former Warcraft guildmates over some controversy about canceling her account. The best part? She gives them a martial arts demonstration to let them know what they're in for. SPOILER ALERT: It. Is. Great.

Filed Under   warcraft   lists   the dorklyst

Article TMNT and the Ginger

September 1, 2010
  1. Donatello

    There's so much blood!

  2. Leonardo

    Holy sh*t Don, what happened to you?

  3. Donatello

    I got jumped by the Foot Clan. Oh god, I can't feel my legs…

  4. Michelangelo

    Cowa-bummer dude!

  5. Raphael

    Don, you don't look so hot. I think you should go to the hospital or vet or something.

  6. Donatello

    No it's ok, I just need some pizza.

  7. Leonardo

    Umm, I'm not a doctor, but I don't think this is the best time for a pizza run.

  8. Raphael

    Yeah, you're not supposed to be bleeding from your ears like that, and your leg looks kind of broken-ish.

  9. Donatello

    No, guys, I just need some pizza. Can you look through those trashcans Mikey?

Filed Under   conversations   tmnt

Article 8 Games on Impossible Mode

September 4, 2010

Filed Under   wtf   impossible mode

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #15

August 31, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One day I was playing Halo 3 with my friends, and naturally we were "pretending" to be gay lovers, and we get matched up with this 12 year old. After putting up with our antics, the 12 year old makes a great discovery: "Hey if you shoot a turret, and hold the controller on your testicles, it feels really good."-Jake C.
I was playing a free roam match on Red Dead Redemption with a few friends of mine and we were attacking this other posse at Fort Mercer. We went around the back of the fort and wrecked the only kid guarding that side. He then without thinking said "Gosh I've got 3 guys on me back here." I replied without missing a beat "You should be used to that". The room erupted into laughter, even his own teammates. The kid left without saying a word.-SHOTBlocker4044
During a free-for-all match in MW2 some little kid got tired of everyone killing him while he was trying to snipe he says "THAT'S IT, I'M GOING COMMANDO!" After that some random older dude proceeds to say "Oh yeah, does the mean you're going to be naked?" Then when the match finally ends and we all see the killcam (which was a quick no-scope in the air) the little kid says, "THAT WAS SO EPIC THAT IT MADE MY NUTS DROP!"-Jose
I was playing Search and Destroy on MW2 when I heard a really whiny-voiced kid start complaining about campers. I asked him how old he is and he told me was in the second grade. I asked him what a penis is and he told me it was like a hot dog but smaller and it doesn't taste as good.-Austin
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article 6 Videogame Crossovers We'd Love to See

August 30, 2010

Filed Under   crossovers

Article Top 7 Reasons Being in Street Fighter Would Suck

August 30, 2010

1. Jetlag

Long flights can be hell. Uncomfortable, terrible food, and even when you land you are so out of it you feel like crap. So imagine if you fight the battle of your life against E. Honda in Tokyo, and as soon as his body hits the floor you have to get on a plane and fight Ken in New York. That's like a 20-hour flight with super powered fights on each end. You would feel so awful you wouldn't even be able to stand up.

2. Passport Issues

Whenever you go to a new country, you need your papers in order. Passport, immigration slips, customs declarations, etc. These are just a few of the hoops you have to jump through with international travel. When you are boarding the plane at the airport, they are going to ask you state your business in the country you are traveling to. Something tells us that "I'm traveling to Thailand to fight a 7 foot tall guy with an eyepatch" won't fly with the TSA people.

Filed Under   street fighter   lists

Article 5 Videogames and Their TV Show Equivalents

August 26, 2010

Sonic and The Simpsons ruled the early 90's, and with good reason: Both were outstanding in their genres and featured title characters that became fixtures in pop culture. Unfortunately, neither franchise knows when to quit and has been milked to the point of almost destroying their legacies. Now Sonic's half werewolf and Moe is judging American Idol. WHY.

Take a successful game or TV show with a loyal fan base, pick the fan's favorite character, and give him his own spin-off— a recipe for success! …Or total failure. Dirge of Cerberus, a spin-off of the critical darling Final Fantasy VII, was released to mixed reviews. Joey, a spin-off of the long-running Friends, lasted only two seasons. With Friends and Final Fantasy followers as fanatical as they are, it's actually pretty impressive that both could be released to such lukewarm reception. So…good for them! I guess?
Filed Under   television   lists

Article The Weekly IRL: Pokemon Invasion

August 26, 2010

Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #24

August 26, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I can and do chug an entire can of Diet Coke during most load screens.-Josh

I was 15 when I got a Sega Dreamcast. It was the best console I have ever had. Not because of the graphics, not because of the 3D Sonic game, and not because of the memory cards with the little screen on them, but because it was capable of going online. It was the perfect way to look at porn without my parents finding out.-Anonymous

When I was 11, I was playing Pokemon Red and realized I had to poop. I was in the Safari zone at the time. I went into the bathroom and when I started I came across a Kangaskhan. Through some sort of crapping magic I managed to catch it and was filled with joy, when all of a sudden my batteries ran out before I could save the game. That was the first time I ever cried on the toilet.-Bobby

I cried when I got hacked on WoW. I'm an adult.-Anonymous

I'm the co-founder of my high school Rubik's Cube Club.-Court

When I was younger, I was very reluctant to read. My mother tried and tried to teach me, but all I wanted to do was play video games. One day she decided that she wasn't going to read any game guide, or text within the game for me anymore. From that day forward, I forced myself to learn to read.-Chris

Filed Under   pwn my life