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Article Gamebook: Raiden Tries to Rally The Troops

September 10, 2010
Filed Under   gamebook

Article The Weekly IRL: Parents Geeking Out

September 9, 2010

Filed Under   parents   the weekly irl

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #27

September 9, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I have always put my boyfriend to shame when it comes to playing video games. Here's my secret: when he challenges me, I play it off and say that the game looks stupid. Then I study his moves and learn his weaknesses. In my spare time, I buy, borrow, or rent the game and work my way to awesomeness in secret at my apartment. Once I'm confident, I re-challenge him. While we're playing, I play the cute card and pretend I don't understand how I could beat someone as good as him. My grades suffer for a week or two, but being able to gloat is worth it.-Anonymous

When I was in 8th grade, I would routinely fake stomach aches after a Friday night sleep-over. Then my dad would pick me up with all my Pokemon cards ready in the car, and we'd go to Toys R' Us for the Saturday morning Pokemon club.-Justin

My co-worker has been telling me non-stop about his iPhone 4 for two months. Yesterday he was showing me his new favorite app when he got a call from "Wife".Me: Who's that?Him: My wife.Me: WTF? When did you get married?Him: Two months ago.-Bennington

I own a full Cats (The Musical) costume. I even attended the show wearing it once.-Andi(A different kind of nerdy, but still extremely nerdy)

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Videogame Math

September 10, 2010

Filed Under   math

Article A Conversation Between Smash Bros. and my Ten-Year-Old Self

September 8, 2010
  1. Me

    Okay Kirby, you're going to do great. Just stay cool.

  2. Kirby

    Can I do a move other than the thing where I turn into a rock and drop on people?

  3. Me

    No. That's the best move ever. It works all the time…

  4. Kirby

    …on easy.

  5. Me

    Shut up, okay? We've been doing great. I'm good at video games. Anyway, are you ready for the final challenge?

  6. Kirby

    Yeah, I should be fine. I've fought everyone. Giant Donkey Kong, Metal Mario, polygons armies, whatever. I'm set.

  7. Me

    Right. Uh, Kirby, there's no easy way to say this. You're fighting a giant hand.

  8. Kirby

  9. Me

    It's a giant disembodied magic hand…that can shoot missile-bullets.

  10. Kirby

    Like the same giant hand that tosses us around at the beginning? And gives us life? Like, essentially our God?

  11. Me

    Yeah. I guess so. Also it's flying. So let's get going.

  12. Kirby

    …nothing we've done could have prepared me for this. I mean, this is the same hand that you can select me with. Has that even occurred to you? You're asking me to conquer God here. This has nothing to do with anything I've done so far.

  13. Me

    What about when we broke the targets? And landed on the platforms?

  14. Kirby

    Those parts are stupid and everyone hates them!

Filed Under   conversations

Article I Think The Game Over Guy Has Emotional Problems

September 7, 2010

Filed Under   street fighter   game over

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #16

September 7, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

12 year old boy on MW2 to his mom."Mom where the f*ck is my chocolate milk? You said you were gonna make me some motherf*cking chocolate milk, and I don't see no motherf*cking chocolate milk".-Oto
I just got Team Fortress 2 a few months ago, so my friends helped me get some achievements by us acting out the required actions. We were in an empty server, until this Australian kid (no older than 11) joined. He kept complaining that he wanted achievements too, so one of my friends told the kid "If you shout BANGBALLS really loud, you'll get the achievement for that." Not only did the kid repeatedly shout that over and over, trying his best (us laughing our asses off behind mics) another friend of mine joined our game. "Oh, it might work now that HE'S in here." "Okay, but I'm only doing it one more time! BANGBALLS BANGBALLS BAAANGBAAALS." Till the day I die, I will never forget.-Chris
I'm a female gamer. While playing Halo3 the other day an annoying nasally voiced kid starts hitting on me. He tried several pick up lines two of the best were "I hope you have flood insurance cause you're about to get wet" and "Girl do you fart? Cause you blew me away." Then proceed to rap about random crap the whole match and got 1 kill.-T
I was playing Halo at like 3 in the morning and I fell asleep mid-game from a combination of fatigue and liquor. The other team had heard me snoring into my mic and had started searching out my body for free kills. When I woke up it was to a bunch of guys screaming in my ear in the lobby – apparently one of the best players on the other team had come up to kill me, and I had somehow managed to assassinate him in my sleep, scoring the winning kill for me team and ruining his spree. He raged and quit for the night, and I don't remember a thing.-Kristin
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article 10 Pokemon Pick-up Lines

September 3, 2010

Filed Under   pickup lines   pokemon

Article Gamebook: 6 Halo Status Updates

September 3, 2010

Filed Under   halo   gamebook

Article The Weekly IRL: Portraits of Epic Nerdery

September 2, 2010

Filed Under   nerds   the weekly irl